Some ineffable commentary…
So the other night Shaft told me to see the Wrestler.
He told me that is was what is going to happen to all the PUA instructors once they stop being cool.
I still haven’t seen it, but I swear to it… I will.
I watched the trailer though and since when did Darren Aronofsky make movies that weren’t all pretentious??? The Wrestler actually seems normal and good… we’ll see.
One thing that keeps coming up in the PUA marketing engine is Lifestyle.
Knowing a lot of the PUAs who teach out there, I know VERY few that have a good lifestyle. Pretty much what PUAs that I know are good at it getting women, some not even good at that.
Funny story…
I had a 1-on-1 last weekend and the guy who I did it with personally knows pretty much everyone out there who teaches. He told me over and over again that the only people who he didn’t consider full of shit were Sinn, Brad P and myself. I might add a name or two to that list, but I would agree with that.
That being said, most PUAs completely suck at living life if not ALL. But they are REALLY good at faking it.
I can be included in that category for sure. But that is why people change right?
So what I have to say about lifestyle is this…
Do what you LOVE and be what you want!
I have pretty much always done that with my life. Sometimes it has worked and sometimes it hasn’t but I will say this, I don’t really know many PUAs out there that live a life like mine, they all try and fake it.
I remember a few months back when one of my friends was telling me about the 4 hour work week and how if he made all this money and set up his business he would just play music all day.
I told him that if all he wanted to do was play guitar, then he should play guitar, and worry about the business stuff to make it possible to play guitar.
He disagreed…
In another movie they said something like this-
Making money is easy if all you want to do is make money.
I don’t teach to make money, I do it cause I like working with people.
Live life guys, stop living in bullshit.
You wanna have a good lifestyle?
Surround yourself with people you love and things that you love, don’t waste time with bullshit, that’s no fun.
More and More everyone in this culture is desperately trying to be a man, and every woman a woman….but they all fall short, and want quick fixes.
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Comment by Nektar on Feb 18, 2009 at 5:47 pm
Great post!
One of the biggest breakthroughs in my life came when I actually took an active approach to disregarding everything that society deemed "important," especially with regards to money and career.
Once you can actually determine what excites you, then you can go about constructing a lifestyle worth living. If you are living a life prescribed by others (as most people get brainwashed into doing) or "faking it," then your lifestyle is pretty pathetic.
In fact, I would actually say that you are one of only a small handful of pick up instructors who genuinely likes teaching (I've met a lot of them across all major companies). A lot of these guys really don't appear to be pursuing what excites them.
In many cases, lifestyle design requires some major de-programming (i.e., getting rid of nonsense beliefs instilled by society), which I think a lot of people are afraid to do, since it can create a significant amount of uncertainty.
I'll take uncertainty over unhappiness any day, though.
Comment by DJ Fuji on Feb 19, 2009 at 2:21 am
I can vouch that you definitely don't teach to make money. lol.
Comment by El Topo on Feb 19, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Hahaha! Fuji, you bitch!
I would actually say, Fuji is one of those that actually teaches with a good part of himself in it.
But funny how I actually do make money at it...huh?