What do you want?
This is one of those things no one ever really asks themselves-
What do I want?
The Last few days I have been bouncing back between Austin and DFW, spending a lot of time on the phone.
2 of these conversations have become very defining in my current train of thought, so much that I wanted to write this little post about it.
People are always posting, selling, and gloating on and on about the latest and greatest BRAND NEW Techniques on How to Get Women, we often loose sight of what we got in to all this for.
The first person I talked with was the Kurgen, who has a new Blog (http://dateandfindlove.com/) and is recently Married. The Kurgen is super Old School and has been in the Community for a while. I met him over 2 years ago and in those 2 years he has always been dating his current wife. People in the community never really talk about settling down; however, I think it is immature to deny the fact that it happens.
The second person is Merchant who is also super Old School. Merchant lives in Austin and has been involved with Pick Up since before the book The Game. He is helping me out with some business things lately, in fact, I actually did a Lair Talk with him in Jan 2009 in Austin and mentioned that He was so good at game that I would consider to hire him.
Now I have hired him, as a consultant though…
However aside from all that, what Merchant and I talked about was actually very similar to what the Kurgan and I were talking about.
It was about communication, and self-empowerment rather than trying to establish superficialities, and having those superfilialities define you.
For instance I would ask each and every one of you out there to sit there and thing to yourself, ‘what did I get into all this for…’
The answer may be different for all of you. Believe me, I think that sex is great and even sex with a lot of people is great. What I don’t’ agree with is that not great sex with a lot people.
The thing is that everybody is different.
Some people want to get laid a lot and other people want to get a girlfriend. There are people, who might just want to have the confidence to go and tlak to someone they don’t know and ‘connect’ with them.
I have found that it is not my job as a teacher to DEFINE what customers want, but to adapt and find how to get my clients what they want.
So when I work with a new client, that is what I ask…’What is it that you want?’
The funny thing is that I will get all sorts of answers.
The answers I get are actually NEVER what I see people teaching.
I see people advertising that they can teach you how to rack up a bunch of lays, I see people teach how you can date 4 girls at once, I see people teach how they can teach you how to walk into a club with 15 HOT women on your arm.
What is funny is that I know no instructors who have done this. Now I don’t know every instructor out there, but I know a lot.
I will say this…
I am a pretty normal dude (maybe a little crazy), but I can Cut lines in Vegas to any club (gotta know the right people though). I know famous models (Playboy, Calvin Klein, etc…) I have bedded a bunch of Stripper and manage a few of them, I have had 4 serious relationships at once…I have done all the crazy shit there is that is a stereotype in the community.
But what did I get in this for…
It is similar to all the people who got in this for.
I wanted to learn to be a man that could acquire Abundance, and Confidence. Just like everyone out there, there was a point when I felt afraid of women. There were times when I didn’t feel comfortable at all.
It wasn’t that I felt I couldn’t get them, it was more that I felt unworthy of them.
If you can relate to that there is a different solution than the ones given out there.
Getting good with women is simple, it is not something that should make you feel weird or ashamed of yourself. It is something that you should learn to empower parts of yourself.
Hopefully there will be more on this later…but for now The Kurgan said he was going to write something on a few of the things that inspired me to write this, so check out his blog…
As for Merchant I hope his insights can one day reach the fame of the internet PUA Community…I am not sure if he wants that though.
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Comment by Aaron on Jun 28, 2009 at 10:43 pm
Hey el topo I hear a lot of instructors say that other instructors are frauds but they say they cannot name them. Personally I think this is wrong because these guys who can't back it up should be driven out of the community so they cannot ruin lives of students who want to get good but are learning from the wrong guy. I know there is a lot to lose by naming names (lawsuits, etc.) but it is helping the community by driving these guys out.