Updates from a Very Long Road
So the past 10 days or so has covered more ground and accomplished more things than some might consider humanly possible.
By the way – there is some really good content at the bottom of all of this, so take a look…
- Made a shitload of Videos….yet to be seen – but that is what this week is for
- Drove over 3,000 miles and still got about 1,000 to go and another country!!!!
- Recorded Music with Steve Albini – go to the Richard Brian Penn show on Thurs to Hear some sample Music
- Taught in Austin, El Paso, Las Cruses, DFW and Chicago
Currently I am writing this in the passenger seat of my 2003 Toyota Tacoma. This Truck is a beast. It has 265,000 miles on it and I bought it with only 8 miles on it.
I have driven it all over the US and have driven it to Guatemala.
Spent many a nights in it. Ohh the stories….
A short word of wisdom about travel, although I could write a whole other Blog on that -
When I was 20 my friend Delilah told me that traveling was her passion, she gave me a few tips that have lasted with me to this day. One was that she said if she could ever find someone she could travel with she would marry them. When I was 20 this made no sense.
Now that I am 31 nearing 32, this makes perfect sense.
And there are 2 girls that have come close to this, but if you haven’t traveled around DO IT!
If you have no money (again I should start another blog on this) you can still do it. Traveling throughout the USA and seeing how immensely diverse the country is (people, places, climate…and things) is beyond what you can imagine.
My travel stories are mainly before my PUA days, but
some of it includes women, some includes music, some include photography and a lot of it includes driving.
That all being said I always think it is funny PUA Instructors feel they have to lie about their life in order to get women’s attention and gain the respect of their PUA followers.
I have pretty much remained silent about this, but to this day what PUAs really have talent outside of the realm of their internet stories.
There is no famous Stand-up Comedian, Actor, Producer, Director, Photographer, Musician, Magician and so on.
The funny thing is….that is fine…
Also when you spend a week with Steve Albini you can be a little pessimistic about superficial folks that are caught in the masquerade of their own insecurities.
To be good with Women, you really don’t need to be any of those things.
If you’re playing the Fame or Value game, you start off with a loss already, cause you’re prescreening for women that are impulsively moved by superficialities.
It works, but it works for some quick attention. Soon you’ll be that guy that took a novelty too far and you’re living in a fantasy world, with fantasy friends and fantasy women.
The ridicule of the PUA lifestyle…and more and more I am having doubt in the so boastfully bragged about accomplishments and adventures of the PUA Lifestyle.
I say this cause, in the past year plus I have made this quite the focus of my life, career and passions.
In fact most of the PUA instructors I know have little to offer in terms of advice outside of meeting women…and even the advice on meeting women is questionable.
My observation is that most PUA Instructors act more like the things they demonize. The best way to put this is – what has the age old ‘community’ tag line been towards women…
“They gossip, they are superficial, they are emotional, they are indecisive, they only care about who can provide, there is no loyalty”
The thing is that is that people who teach this, with VERY few exceptions , are more of those ‘feminine’ qualities than any woman I know.
So that being said, here is some advice which is so simple it took me way too long to actually take.
#1 – Do the things that you Love -
Sounds too simple to be true, but if you do this, you’ll meet the right people. You can meet a whole bunch or a few core ones, that is up to you.
Examples – I love travel, I love my Kids, I love music, I love people, I love women, I love the Arts.
It is not necessarily easy, but it is A LOT easier than you think, I built a life where all those things are included. The main problem is that I have too many of these things and managing them can get way out of control.
#2 – Stop doing the things that hurt you -
This may sound way too simple as well, but it is a pain in the ass. I had to really work on this. I mean really have to work on it. I am still working on it to be honest. What we often think is good for ourselves is not good. One of the things that is so tough about all of this is that experience is such a teacher here. We mainly need to be open minded, and willing to change and challenge ourselves.
Examples – I dislike it when I waste time with people that I do not like (this includes women), I dislike it when I do a poor job with things, I dislike it when I get too overwhelmed with business stuff, I dislike negative people, I dislike people who use other people, I dislike people who can’t stand up for themselves, I dislike pushing myself to exhaustion.
#3 – Finding Balance
If you’re doing this exercise in your head as you read along you might be thinking …
‘I bet the things that he likes are also pretty close to the things he doesn’t like’
If you are thinking that then you’re right.
The only thing that makes the good things good is how I balance them. I can love women, but then one gets jealous and gets pissed off cause she finds out that I love too many women….or something like that.
I can love traveling, but then I can travel constantly, running on no sleep and get to see every club in the city but never the people in the city.
I can love working with people and empowering them, but I can also work with too many people, too much, so I then hate working with people.
So one of the most important things that one can do is find balance. If I can find Balance, then I can have everything around me fall apart and still have a chance at that little piece of serenity.
There are tons of ways people have inner peace mapped out. Some advice I might have towards this is that anyone in the community who says they have “Inner Game” mapped out…well I would just advise to find that outside of the Community. It does exist, but it really doesn’t exist in a plentiful way just yet.
I love Music, so I don’t go around proving myself by who I play with or what I do musically, but more in the act of playing it. If art is about expression, then expressing is key, not the shows you play or what people define you as, you define yourself.
I also love women. I am pretty darn good with women too. Now if you’re pretty good with women and have a bunch of relationships at once it gets pretty crazy. I am not meaning like a bunch of people you just have sex with, but a bunch of women you have in your life. This ain’t easy. I mean I really don’t think many people in the PUA community has ever done this, cause the way people write about MLTRs is pure Bull Shit. Managing anyone, let alone women, is actually best done with honesty. If you have them all know about each other you’re actually better off. If you are actually worth your salt in this, you will have them all under the same roof. The best advice in this comes so far away the PUA community it is funny. Read about how Pimps do it, or Religious people do it and you’ll be in the right place.
That all being said, the way to make the women in my life something that makes my life great other than a living hell, is having that fine line of honesty define things.
#4 – Approach Women that you are Attracted to –
Well what can I say, this almost sounds stupid, but we never really do this.
I did not sign up to this PUA stuff to get good at meeting a bunch of women that I didn’t like.
Sadly I did do that, I did that a lot.
Once I started learning how to honestly express myself, I realized that – ‘man, if I just state my intent and pretty much say, this is who I am and I am sexually attracted to you, but I want to know more… I actually meet women that I like in multiple ways.
In fact the shitty thing is that once a week I meet a girl that is relationship material. That is not good. That is too much. I intentionally do not have sex with many of them because if I do, I will end up having too many girlfriends.
But what does that tell me…
There are plenty of amazing women out there. I seriously meet a woman that I think is beautiful in her looks personality, passions and ambitions once a week. I am proud to say they are all end up my friends.
To be honest I didn’t even think that existed. To be honest I have some pretty particularly high standards.
#5 – Learn to be a man –
The PUA community has thrived off of this defining ‘man’ thing. Here’s a thought, the idea of Seduction is created by women (Ala Jason Savage, if you don’t read his blog you’re a fool). Think about it, why is it that we do all this crazy shit in order to have a sexual encounter with women? It is cause women want to be seduced.
Now there is more on that later…but ask any woman what she likes. I did that just last night in front of a bunch of people.
I asked her, “Since you’re not American do you think all American men were pussies”
She said, “I like American men, but men from other countries know how to treat a woman” I thought she would flat out agree, but partially agreeing is good too.
I then said, “American men don’t know how to be dominant and make you feel like a woman. What you like is for a man to be hard at the right times but also know how to be soft too.”
I then asked her is she was single…she said, “No, and my boyfriend is Italian”
How do I compete with that….well I will tell you…
So then I told her, “That is good, Italian men are all really good. I bet he knows how to handle you, like he is the type that can lick your pussy soft and eat it like he is a starving man. He knows when to completely take you, but also how to put himself all the way inside of you and make you feel everything.”
She glazed over and said, “Yes, he does”
Then I said, “I don’t believe you, Italian guys are great but they’re all mama’s boys…next time I see you will know what I mean, and I will show you the rest.”
She was the hostess at a restaurant in Chicago. I don’t live there, so next time I am in the neighborhood, we will have to see.
The things is not the content there, but it is the being a man part.
To put things in perspective, here is my thing when I talk to a woman.
-I don’t need anymore women in my life, I have enough. I have a girlfriend that I love very much and I have a ton of other women, now in cities all around that I am very close with. I even have women that make me money…serious shit.
-I like experiencing women in a sexual way. Now I am not having a physical interaction with this girl, but I like to know what women think, especially in terms of sex. She actually was being really honest with me, to me that is attractive, so I want to find out more. So I ask. If she is not qualified for me to find her attractive then great, I can walk away.
-I want to state my intent. That is what a man needs to do. You don’t do that, you don’t have balance, you don’t have a life which is fulfilling, then you do crazy shit. You start having the women you meet define you. A lot of people misinterpret this and think they need to belittle women and neg them and lead.
Well, let me tell you something, you don’t learn to be a leader by leaning back or talking loud or negging, or any of that shit. Those are attributes of a leader, I could lose all of those decoys and still meet women I like….why? Because I know how to lead.
I define me, not the women I meet. I am guilty of it as many people are, I have allowed women I don’t like, or a lifestyle I don’t like lead me.
You know what, that means that I am having the ‘game’ define me. Isn’t that one of those effeminate qualities that we’re supposed to stay away from. An Alpha male doesn’t change his life for anything.
There sure are a bunch of Alpha Males teaching this stuff. I mean they are so unreactive that just to not be too Alpha Male they do podcasts, write articles, talk shit, and so on within days to state their opinion about what has nothing to do with women or self-improvement.
If you’re interested in learning more of this….Get On My Email LIST! And keep on the Blog!