Sex – Life – Confusion 

We live life but we are afraid

We fear experience we want to control our outcomes

We search for meaning and definition, and forget purpose

We fear sex but we want sex

We obsessed over sex but it has become more fantasy than reality

We are ashamed of sex and we are consumed by it.

We wonder why we are so confused. 

What is your sexuality? 

What is your life?

Sex is one of the most natural human acts and it has become distorted.   Something that is normal, natural and one of the highest forms of communication has become a point of confusion and frustration.

To get back to that natural state of sexuality and living a fulfilling life we need to cultivate and maintain a good mindset.

We need to realize how important and vital sex is to our lives.

With working these 5 fundamentals your Sexual Life will be more about an expression and exchange of you and another person rather than trying to make you be something you’re not.

The Sexual Life’s goal is to end the desperate search trying to fulfill a lost identity.

The fundamentals of the Sexual Life are -

* Identity

* Connection

* Self-Acceptance

* Sex is a part of Life

* Everyone is Sexual

First we need to understand what I mean by the Sexual Life -

 

To be Sexual there is –

 

Sex – The Act

Seduction - The Process

Sexuality – The Result of Sex and Seduction

 

 

To live Life there is –

 

Identity – Who you are really are, rather than a façade

Experience – Your experiences not just your actions

Purpose – What fuels you rather than simply your results

 

The 5 key fundamentals will be the path to your Sexual Evolution

—–

1 – Identity –

Live your life, not your lie 

At the core of all personal change YOU need to be in it.  At the core of your sexuality YOU need to be in it.

You need to be you.  Not a façade, not a fake identity, not an act.  Yes you might borrow some things from people you might ‘fake it till you make it’, but you need to come back to you.

I have seen this lack of authenticity fuck more people up than anything else in the Seduction, Self-help and the Recovery/Addiction industries.

It is as if WE are afraid to be in the equation to OUR path of change.  It is as if we are afraid to have sex without an image guiding us.

In my 5 years of teaching the most angry, pissed off, dysfunctional and frustrated clients all have one thing in common – They bought into an idea, that told them –

they could have what they wanted by not being themselves.

There are nothing wrong with methods, systems and actions that teach you a new way to live; however how these things are sold is that they work independent of that person’s life.   A system can only accent who you already are.

Why anyone would want a life outside of themselves is something to question, if this is what you’re looking for a ‘quick fix’ product isn’t going to help you.  It will most likely fuck you up more.  Every move you make in your life should not be detached from who you are.

To experience means you are affected, you might feel joy and you might feel pain.  The key is to not live reactions of those things.

You need to be proud of yourself.  You need to be you.  If you throw your life to the side to be something you’re not that act alone takes away your pride, and puts you on a path of self-hate.

As a culture we are afraid of sex and afraid of being ourselves.   We would rather be in love with a fantasy than to feel the rich intimacy, vulnerability and love that sex can offer.   Sex has become an exaggeration of porn and on the other end shame.  This is all because we are unwilling to be ourselves with someone else.

2 – Connection - 

There are few things more beautiful than connecting with another human being.  Connection is the exchange of intimacy, passion, chaos and humanity. 

We forget this.

We forget that sex is simply an act of connection, we forget that our happiness is dependent upon how we connect with the world around us.

Biological beings cannot live without some connection within their species.   It is built into us.

Yet we look at sex as a society as something we can get, take, dominate or have.   Sex is the ultimate act of sharing.   If you meet get married it is an exchange…

If you meet a woman and have a single night rendezvous it is an exchange.  If you hire a prostitute it is an exchange.

We are afraid to share.  We are afraid to exchange.

Why is this?

There are 2 reasons that come to mind

1 – We are afraid to show ourselves

2 – We are afraid to be affected by others

You see in the ‘quick fix’ nature of self-help and seduction industries the general theme is that you can simply reap the benefits they offer without having to really be you.  You won’t get hurt, you won’t get affected in any ways that bring you pain.  Their method will stop the pain of loneliness and depression and you’ll be great all without having to face yourself.

We have more faith in Prozac than working through our problems.  Don’t get me wrong, if you’re seriously depressed seek help, there is nothing wrong with taking prescribed drugs if you need them.  However, many people get prescriptions that don’t need them.

What the problem is with many of these drugs that numb your depression, anxiety and so on, is they numb everything else.

Our lives are built on being numb.   Human connection is at the heart of experience.

Happiness is meaningless if we can’t experience it with anybody.

The delusion is that we believe more in getting what we want than connecting with people.   We think that achieving our goals, having ambition without respecting the simple human act of relating, accepting and having compassion will make us happy.   These things will not alone make us happy, we need to have the element of human connection interlacing it all together.

I love sex, and so does the rest of the world.

For me personally, I have had all different types of sexual interactions.   In the past I would hear about something new and I want to try it.

However more than sex, I love connection (I had to learn the hard way) .   You can have calm and mellow missionary sex all the way to orgies, gangbangs and whatever else you can imagine, but without connection being the motivation and inspiration behind those acts they will simply be acts, and they will turn into confusion and chaos.

Sex is one of the highest forms of communication and it should be respected in this way.

That connection of sex is so powerful that culture after culture tries to put rules on it.

Connection is something that is bigger than anything man can make, simply because it is at the heart of anything man makes…connection will always be the catalyst to what surpasses itself.

3 – Self-Acceptance -

If we know who we are (Identity) we need to accept who we are (Self-Acceptance)

A life without self-acceptance is a life hiding behind guilt and shame.

We look at what we can get not at why we want what we want

We blindly try and explore ourselves without truly exploring ourselves.

We can’t fix who we are if we can’t accept who we are.

Too many people are unwilling to look at themselves.

Too many people think their flaws are meant to be hidden, covered or even unattractive.

I want to be a human being not some robot or mask.

Here is the reality, no matter how perfect you think you are, you’re not.  You never will be.

However you can absolutely evolve, everyone has the capacity for massive personal change.

No matter how much you think your life is set in stone, let alone your sexuality, it is not.   The initial steps towards that transformation have to do with self-acceptance.

My friend Dave told me once,

“You’re going to have to come to terms with who you are and practice some self-acceptance.   If you’re the guy that goes around and fucks chicks and does whatever crazy shit you’re into, there is nothing wrong with that, if you’re honest with yourself about it.  But the confusion comes into play when you try and not be that guy and you’re living as 2 different people at the same time.”

People want something to cover up with rather than be themselves or express themselves.

You see this in the seduction industry over and over again.

What the industry in general says,

‘To be an alpha male you have to do what you want and figure out ways to avoid responsibility’.

How can I have sex and trick these chicks into being ok with it???

Here’s the answer,

You can have whatever sexual life you want.  You can have as many women in your life that you want, but in reality it is more of a question of what you can handle…

Can you handle a sex life with many partners; can you handle having multiple relationships with women?

If you’re planning to lie about it, there is nothing ‘alpha’ about that.

What Dave was telling me was simply that I had to accept myself first.  If I was hiding from my actions, or my actions from other people then I was manifesting shame.   It doesn’t matter how good I get at communication, it doesn’t matter how much I can control a situation if I have guilt, shame or self-hate then I am always going to move backwards.

I need to accept myself, the good and the bad.  If I have a speech impediment, handicap, emotional issues, a disease or deformity , anger towards women I need to first learn to look at that and accept it, then I can determine if I am going to express it to the world around me.

Anger is a lack of acceptance.  Depression (or anger turned inwards) is a lack of self-acceptance.

Life, Sex, Humanity is not a template, it is not a system, it is not a routine.  You need to accept your life and find that true freedom is in that.

4 – Sex is a part of life - 

Sex is one of the greatest forces known to man. 

We forget that.

Life (literally) begins with sex.

However so much is communicated, defined and cultivated through sex.  Sex is its own form of communication.  We forget how powerful it is, we forget how much respect it demands.

I know men and women that think sex will make them happy.

The sad thing is that is can make them happy, but it doesn’t.  The reason why is sex is not respected.  It is simply an act.  It might be an act of validation, or and act of a simple urge.

The problem is when sex is only an act your sexuality has no purpose.

If we sex as something that is at the root of all life, at the root of many of our emotions, and its own special language then our sex acts can be fulfilling.  Our sexuality makes us happy.

Instead our fears towards who we are (Identity) giving a part of ourselves (Connection) and loving accepting who we are and the acts we are doing (Self-Acceptance) keep sex as only a simple act.

We think it is bad, we think it is harmful, shaming, lewd and so on.  Sex is part of life!

Sex is also bigger than us, we will never master it, control it or be able to truly put a definition on it.

The same goes for life, at most we can simply live it.

When we stop being humble towards sex and sexuality we will be humiliated by it.

We need to recognize sex’s power and beauty and express that through ourselves, this is what we call our sexuality – our expression of that great force.

5 - Everyone is Sexual - 

We are already sexual – to have the best sexual experiences we need to take things away more than add them.

We forget this.

We forget that we are sexual, we forget the people we are attracted to are sexual.  The more we see people as not sexual beings the more we build walls around our relationships with people.

I hear women all the time say that they don’t want to be sex objects.  The problem is not the ‘sex’ part, it is the ‘object’ part.

The more we see people as some sort of check list or category the more we get away from the organic nature of a person’s sexuality.

Both women and men do this constantly.   They think attraction is something that can be listed off and categorized, while it might be true (people are more attracted to certain qualities and body types) we have to realize that our sexual side can over power our tastes.

This is where both women and men get it wrong.

Women will always say they are attracted to confidence, humor, height and so on.

Men will say they are attracted to her breast size, ass, weight, open-mindedness and so on.

This is all what we like, this is not our sexual side.  There is a difference.

Sex is a force within us.

We might give attention to specific features however our sexual urges always win once they are stimulated.

I know many men and women who can define what they are attracted to and what they want in a sex partner…they hardly ever get it.

Women and men who you would think can get anyone they want are never fulfilled.  This is because they are not realizing sex is more about connection than a checklist.  People who value and build their relationships on intimacy, connection, exchange are people that have relationships.  People that value relationships on what they are attracted or what they want don’t have relationships people, they have relationships with a fantasy they are trying to manage.

Where the Seduction industry gets it wrong is it is predominantly based on the idea that women are sexually attracted to social value.

I can guarantee you that most women’s pussies don’t get wet when they see a nice car or men with a lot of money, status or whatever.  And the women who’s ovaries do move when they see that are the rare ones that you should avoid.

In fact I would bet that a women seeing a man with a lot of status and attention would have considerably less physical arousal than a women watching a man with no money playing with his infant child.

This status simply gets women’s attention and allows you more opportunities to get sexual.   But then what are you having sex with.

The seduction industry is an industry full of technique on how to have sex that has nothing to do with sex.

If guys in the seduction industry simple got that seduction is in everyone and nearly independent of status they would gain a lot more ground at having IDEAL SEXUAL relationships with women.

If women who watched Lifetime movies and read Cosmo realized that their fantasy of some man recognizing them for their personality.  Sexuality, sex and relationships aren’t a list of qualities, femininity (as well as masculinity) isn’t a demand for something.  You have to be sexual, you have to experience to have your definition.  If you’re on the sidelines then you’re just taking notes.  Remember the beauties of sex are beyond any list you come up with.  Your lists and theories without experiences to shape them are only opinions.

The whole thing is that both sides have come up with these bizarre fucked up rules for each other so their in a constant state of confusion and frustration.

Women and men need to realize that they are meant to be sexual.

Every man and woman I know and talk to all want to be desired.  They all want people to be attracted to them.  Every woman I know wants to be hot, every woman I know wants the ability to arouse a man and every woman I know doesn’t want to be hit on poorly by a man.

She wants to her sexuality to be respected but what does she put out there to be respected.  A girl with no personality demanding her personality to be respected because her frustrated friends that get walked on by men said so.

The sad thing is neither women nor men do enough to be respected.

Rather than going out and experiencing life they would rather take the shortcut to manhood.   No man is secure with his presence as a man.  Rather than getting comfortable with himself and follow his natural urges to pursue a woman he’d read a book on how to be alpha so he could finally be perceived as a leader…after that he can fuck some bitches.

This is why you have 25 year old men pounding Viagra so they can ‘fuck like a porn star’ or think they need a bigger dick to be better in bed.

This is why women have more sex partners than ever before but have no concept of how to move their bodies and have an orgasm.

Nobody knows how to seduce or be intimate…

No man knows how make a woman feel like a woman, and no woman knows how to make a man feel like a man.

Sex has no boundaries and somehow ‘modern day humanity’ has taken the most human thing and suffocated it.

Men and women are too caught up being boys and girls.  Part of growing up is to be a sexual person.

Part of being a man is to show women they make you aroused, and part of being a woman is to show a man you’re aroused by him (a slut just fucks them).

The art in it all is experiencing sex but doing it in the right way.  That’s where the fear lies…we might have to take a step by ourselves, we might have to fail, we might have to get rejected, but only through this is the path to enlightenment.

WE ARE ALL SEXUAL BEINGS!

When we live by our fears our Identity becomes a façade

When we are living by a façade our sex can only be an action.

When our sex is only an action we become frustrated and want to control things.

When we value control over experience we search for definitions and fear our experiences.

When we live by definitions we put our faith in a series of action and we have no purpose.

When we have no purpose we only become the sum of our results.

Results without purpose is the worst mirror one can stand infront of

 

Our Sexuality is no longer an expression of who we are and what we are sharing with someone, our Sexuality and our Purpose is a checklist.  We have taken 2 things (Sex and Life) that need no help, you just have to do them, and tied them in knots.

 

Live well

and comments always welcome

Steve

Bratislava, Slovakia

When I was a young I would venture off and collect bugs and insects in jars.  Try and trap little fish or frogs and keep them as pets and act as if I were an adventurer from an Indiana Jones movie.

 

One day I was playing in a ditch and I found a frog. 

I was able to catch it with my hands, and I had nothing to put it in.

My home was only 15mins away, so I put both hands over the frog and held it tight so I could put it in a jar when I got home. 

The frog was slippery so I made sure to hold onto it very tight, not letting any space for it to slip through my fingers. 

I could feel the frog move around in my hands and was so excited to have caught one. 

Frogs were never easy for me to catch.

When I got home I took one hand off the frog and pressed it tight against my stomach to open the door.  I ran to get a jar from the kitchen. 

I knew the exact one I would use.  

It was a very special jar that I always wanted to put a goldfish in or something like that.  

It was perfect and it belonged to my grandmother.  She had passed away and to my memory was thee only blood relative that really cared for me.

 

I got the jar, ran to my room and slipped the frog into the jar.

I knew I would have to poke holes in the top so it could breathe.

But when the frog went into the jar it did not move.

I could tell immediately that it had no life left in it.

I poked holes in the lid anyway, in some sort of denial.   It was what I had to do to be responsible.

 

I felt so bad because I had killed the frog.  

I felt also bad because I was so excited to have caught it, but had tortured it to death.

 

When I had a fish die we would flush it down the toilet, but for some reason I felt bad and hid the frog in my room.  I kept it in the jar.

The frog began to stink after a few days.  Our dog would come in my room and she would smell the decaying frog’s corpse. 

I could smell it every time I walked in the room. 

I tried to cover the scent with blankets, I put plastic wrap to cover the air holes for the frog.

 

My mother, who was very strict, would comment on the scent.  I didn’t want anyone to know I had killed this frog and poked holes in my grandmother’s jar.  

I put the jar and frog into a bag and walked back to the gutter I had found the frog in.

I took out the jar and threw it shattering on the cement gutter. 

The frog was dead.

The jar was smashed

I felt bad for a moment, but I could walk away and forget about it.

It was in some ways it was like I no longer had killed the frog, ruined my grandmother’s jar and everything was back to normal.

 

Over the years the lid to the jar remained in that same area.

I remember finally one day it was gone, someone picked it up and threw it away.  I was sad to not have it there anymore.

————————–

Today, as I write this, is my second day at 34, yesterday was my birthday.

I walk through the city of Bratislava, Slovakia at 8am after no sleep.

I have experienced the night of my life…

Friendship, love, camaraderie, passion.  It is endless what I felt tonight.

I should be filled with gratitude for living a life that has everything I could ever want, but I am not.  I am filled with the want for more.
I want to control the good feelings I have had and not let them go.  I want to hold them in my hand.

My I spent my birthday with my friends who I had made on the current workshop and another dear friend of mine had traveled from Vienna to Bratislava to celebrate with me.

The city is still cool from the night before.

The light cuts through the old buildings shaping its way in contrasting lines across the ground reshaping the cityscape.

The city is just waking up, but my heart is restless, confused and searching for meaning.

Once again I am alone, then night is over and the morning has begun.

Everyone is asleep, but I cannot rest.

I had one of the best nights one could ask for in a birthday, so much live and attention but I am alone.

I want more from this.

I want meaning.

I want the things around me to make sense and their confusion of purpose, love, life, meaning and ideals have still left a cloud of dust around me.

The never-ending search for man is driven by this want.

Only now this ‘want’ has nothing to do with an object, or a person, it is driven by a desire for clarity.   It is a need for peace.

As a boy I always wanted more.

I wanted more toys

more attention

more of anything that seemed to mean something that people had to offer

This gave me meaning, it put a value on who I was, and now who I am.

The need for food love and attention turned into a thing that I needed to try to control

My young hands trying to hold onto the wheel of life…

You try and control what you get

You try and get what you think you want

Then the obsession takes over

My sense of self, my identity, self-worth constantly needing to be defined by an action.  Somehow a result would finally prove that I was good enough.

Humanity is a funny thing.

No matter what we get, if we cannot find happiness in what is right in front of us then it is not happiness.  It is a reaction, an exhaling of an insecurity, a thorn being removed from our spiritual void.   It is relief of to reality, but not reality.

This morning has no answer for me, other than the simple action of feeling what I feel.  Old emotions erupting in me as if I had never felt them before.  The covers of my normal façade have been removed and the boy that simply wanted to be like his brother, get love from his mother, and wanted his friends to like him – no longer has chaos of his life to wear as a mask.

Two nights ago (Sept 4^th) I spent the hours with a man from the trip we are taking.  We talked about life, purpose, women and the idea of self-acceptance.

I had said,

“I am not religious, but I believe there is something more to the world that I can imagine.  If I were to call it something it is easier to call it ‘god’.  But because it is so much bigger than me I cannot define it.  I can simply understand that I don’t understand it.

God is either everything or god is nothing.  God is in just as much of this glass of water as it is in anything I think is great.  If I am spiritual enough to have clarity then I can find the god in anything, or any moment no matter how bad it is.

But this is the point of humanity.  We cannot always do this.  Life is so big that it forces us to stay humble.”

 

I continued,

“I am glad I am fucked up.  I am glad I am controlled by the disease of obsession and compulsion.  I am also glad I know now that this is no way to live.

I am grateful for my confusion, because it is the only that will keep me humble.  It is the only thing that will give me that sense of calm serenity we have always been looking for.  Those are the things that force me to look for ‘god’ in all things.”

I said,

“One of the biggest things for me was to realize that within my life I never looked at what the difference between powers greater than myself and the thing I would see as a higher power.  I may choose to not be able to define a god, I do know what I believe.  But you, this moment, this city, the food we eat, the situations we run into, the woman that loves me and the woman that rejects me are all powers greater than myself.   Money, lack of money, responsibilities and so on.  If I don’t choose what my higher power is, if I cannot humble myself to anything then all those things that are powers greater than me will force me to become humble.  Then I will find myself brought to my knees by the anger, self-loathing, confusion and contradiction of my life through them.  However if I can learn to humble myself to the one thing that I believe in the reality of life can only be reality.   I don’t have to hold onto it.  I do not follow a religion, but if there was a form of prayer that I did it was simply one human being talking to another.  This is because I know I am someone that cannot be changed, but if I meet someone and they can connect with me then I know those things that were in my life that were once hopeless lose their power and I so much can be changed.”

 

The beauty about being human is that you can’t always hold on.  It stops working if you keep trying to use a human interaction or experience.  We never ask what are we using it for.

We hold onto it because we won’t let reality be what it is.

Our pain comes from our fantasy of what we can get.

You can only hold your hand open to truly let the experience be what it is meant to be.

But we are obsessed with pleasure.  It runs out, but for me I hold on to it until it is dead in my hand.  My want, my need, my desire to fulfill my will and self-worth turn life into death.  Even when it is dead, I still try and hold on, and cover up the damage.  The holes I poke, the special things I cam shatter.  I hold on, and that desire turns into regret, that regret turns to shame and that shame becomes my self-worth.  You can only fill the void with so much, until it is your life to scrap at the bottom of the barrel to find things to fill it…

Your identity, experience, and purpose are only self-hatred.

Identity becomes façade

Experience is replaces by an attempt at actions or a process or method that will work fix it all

Purpose gets over shadowed by a result that will somehow give us meaning.

This is the core part of the ‘life’ part of the Sexual Life

Life is -

Identity that shapes Experience that cultivates Purpose 

We don’t have to hold death in our hand.  We don’t have to hide it in our room within ourselves, until it turns to shame.

In life we may make mistakes

In life we may have done terrible things

And terrible things may have been done to us

But today is special.  It is one of those days where I said goodbye to someone and couldn’t bring the words to express what I felt.   I walked through the city confused. My confusion turned to anger, and soon I felt those old feelings come back to haunt me.

Once again a power greater than myself becoming my higher power, only now it does not have to bring me to my knees.

I walked through the city, looked at the light shape its way through the buildings.

Looked at the people waking up, the cafes setting up outside so that one more day can continue in Bratislava.

It made my mind wander.  I started to think how for these people the day is beginning and for me it is ending.   I looked at their ambition for the day and compared it to the fatigue and emotion that I had.

I walked around taking my time.  Taking pictures with my small camera, and found that moment of god in looking at the light…

The shadows it made on the ground

And the contrast it brought to everything it touched.

For many years I worked as a light designer in theatre, as simple as it is, it is very special to me.

I thought about the different physics of light

How we know so little about the physics of light

How the spectrum of it can never be augmented from the source that emits it

How it was discovered that it moves in waves in the 1890s

How it became theorized by Einstein that is has mass

How light can bend

But it didn’t matter how much I thought about it, how much I tried to learn more and more about it, just like now and for the 26 productions I designed it could always leave me speechless.

It may be all these things, and have all these characteristic, but today I was a man in the city experiencing the unexplained beauty of the world I can’t control around me.

I was the boy who wanted excess

I was someone who was brought to my knees by it.

And rather than needing an answer, and needing a definition

I could just walk and know that I am part of a world that moves around me.

I can experience the god in everything or I could hold what I think I want in the palm of my hand.  Hold it until it is dead, hiding my wreckage and becoming a slave to those powers greater than myself.

We will leave here today in a few hours to Budapest.

Bratslava, Slovakia

Today we made it to Slovakia.

Dead tired

Fatigued

In a seemingly permanent haze

The last few nights in Prague have been nonstop.

When you work on these workshops you pull 12-15 hour days.

Everything blends into one, and you forget that only 2 days ago you just met these people you’re on a long adventure with.

Night after night you get 2-5 hours of sleep.

It gets pretty exhausting.

If there was one thing that I could write about Prague it was last night, or early this morning.

I was walking back to the apartments around 3am with some of the guys.

They were asking a lot of questions about some of the different ideas I have towards seduction, women, men and so on.

One thing people need to know as a truth is

-       The expectation that humanity, love, sex and friendships cannot be controlled by a system.  That is the beauty of humanity.  No matter what you do or how much you plan or hone a technique it will never work out the way you planned.

 

The very most we can do is learn ways to assert ourselves more, so that other people can connect.   This goes for all things.   Sex, relationships and your life…

It is on workshops like this that I realize how much of a different direction I have taken.

We made it onto one of the main drags in Prague…

Sausage stands,  African men trying to get you into the brothels, drug dealers and the street walkers (prostitutes).

I told the guys I wanted to hangout here for a while.

For the past 2 days I have been in and out of clubs, facilitating drills and so on.

These are things I don’t generally do, nor do I have much fun in clubs.

But for some odd reason I love the underbellies of societies.  There is truth in them.

The guys were tired from 2 long days, and I was myself.  But for the first time in the last 2 days I was feeling awakened by the city.  I could explore it, I could see what the afterhours of Prague had to offer me.

We all walked back to the apartments, continuing our talk.

I parted with the group and went into my flat.

I went to the bathroom, changed my shit, and got ready for bed, when I heard heavy breathing from the other room.

Then I heard the moaning of a woman.

I then realized my flat mate had brought home the girl he was talking to in the club an hour earlier.

I put on my jeans and headed back to the square.

I was tired, but I wanted to see more.

When I got to the square it was about 4am and the streets had thinned even more.

Now the guys hustling you into the brothels had diminished.

Just me, the food vendors, loud belligerent drunks, men standing in shadows and the girls walking the streets trying to get the drunk passing men to buy their pussies for 15mins.

I kept walking slowing down the street.  I am the most relaxed I have been in the past few days.

I love this life…it is like walking down the set of a Maxin Gortky production, but with flashing lights everywhere.

The Lower Depths, has always felt like home to me.

I continued to walk and saw a prostitute solicit some passers by, so I decided I would lean up against a tree and watch.   Something good always comes from sorts of things.

Two German men started talking to her, she invited them to sit with her.

Within a few mins she started yelling down the street for her friend.

She was very attractive, darker skinned, beautiful body.

Her friend came running down the street…

She was not so attractive

The German men then cut their loses and walked off.

The other prostitute eventually walked off and left the original one to work her corner.

She sat across from me on the ledge of a Starbucks.

Then she came closer to me and sat on a bench.  She was listening to music on she phone’s speaker.  It was Turkish music.

She didn’t know what to make of me, but eventually she looked over and said,

“where are you from?”

 

“I have heard that one before.”

 

She then said, “You want sex?”

 

“No, I am good.”

 

“So where are you from, the USA?”

 

I said, “Yes, from Texas.”

 

You are sure you don’t want sex, a blow job?”

 

I said, “No really I’m good. So what, you’re not making any money, how come, you’re hot.”

 

“I know it is a crap night.”

 

“Something will come along.”

 

She then walked up to me.   As she got closer her sexiness that she had forma  distance turned to a sadness.

 

I said, “Are you Turkish?”

 

“No I am from Prague.”

 

“But you like Turkish music?”

 

“I like Arabic music, but I am from Prague.”

 

I just figured she was from Prague at that point, but then she turned to me getting closer,

“How do you know I am Turkish?”

 

“Lucky guess, I know a lot of women who do what you do, but in the US.”

 

“Is that why you don’t want sex?”

 

“I don’t need sex like that.  I only like sex if I am connected to someone, do you understand?”

 

“You should want sex from me I am good for you.   You seem nice.  I have to go work.”

 

She went back to the Starbucks, I smoked more cigarette.

In a few mins, some really short fat women comes up to me and asks me for a cigarette.  She presses her breasts up against me and says,

“Sucky sucky, for you.”

 

Somehow, every prostitute around the world will use this line.

I tell her, “No thanks, I’m good.”

I can’t imagine anyone paying for her, but I guess people have fetishes.

 

She asks me for a cigarette,

I pull one out.

She puts her hand on my dick, then one on my pocket.

I grab her hand on my pocket and smile.

 

“Nice try, now get out of here.”

 

Almost immediately the previous prostitute comes over and starts yelling at the short and fat one.  They are yelling at each other in Turkish I presume.  They get really heated.

I pimp comes over and takes the short and fat one away.

It is all in slow motion, the mix of no sleep, and the mood of 5am Prague puts a surreal filter on everything.

The prostitute I had been talking to earlier turns to me and says,

“You cannot trust this woman.  She is a bad person, you are a nice man.”

Another prostitute comes over to also warm me about this woman.  This is truly a kodak moment…

“Thanks” I say.

 

“Why do you stay here.  You like this area?”

 

“It is my last night here, I have to leave in a few hours.  I have been working the whole time and no time to myself.  Plus I like all of this.”

 

“I need to make money, this is to slow for this night.”

 

“Yeah, if I wanted sex, I would definitely want it with you, but I don’t like sex with prostitutes.”

 

“See you are a nice man, I like this.”

 

She was a very small girl, probably 26 or 27.

 

“Are your breasts real?”  They seemed too large for her frame, not enormously big, but if they were real, she would be blessed.

 

“Of course they are, I am Turkish.”

 

“You’re lying.”

 

“Try me” she challenged back

 

I reached over and touched her breast.  They were fake.

 

“See you are a liar.”

 

“You are a strange man, but I can tell you’re good.”

 

“How many clients do you have a night?”

 

“You should not ask this question to a girl.”

 

“No, I want to know.  You get many men?”

 

“Tonight is slow it is not good.  But I need 2 more.  Can you give me luck?”

 

“Where is your pimp?”

 

“I don’t have one, why do you ask so many questions?”

 

“You’re lying again.”

 

“You ask too much.  Why do you do this?  You need to please help me, give me some luck.”

 

“Sure, good luck.”

 

She then told me, “No you need to give me something, 50 Koruna, or 10, something to get me something.  You will see.  You give me and then a man will women.  It works this way.”

 

“Here” I reach in my pocket and pull out a coin, 20 Koruna (about $1 USD)

 

“Ok, thank you.  You will see the men will take me now.  Stand and watch.”

 

She goes back to the Starbucks.

I stay near the tree.

I smoke

Groups of Brits and drunken men stagger by…

“Blowjob, all of you.”

“You want sex.”

“Come here, you want fuck for the night.”

She says to all the passers by.

After about, 5 mins a group of 4 drunk British men stop.  In about a min she agrees to an arrangement.   Her and 4 men walk off.

She turns and yells back to me,

“You see -I am not a liar”

I just laugh to myself.

Probably one of my most peaceful nights in Prague, go figure.

I walk back to the apartment, about a 10 min walk.

As I am waling I think about the dynamic.  I am so comfortable talking about sex with sex workers.  I thought to myself, touching her breast had absolutely nothing sexual about it, but talking to her and for a moment feeling her real self through the wall she keeps up so high was more sexual that most of the interactions I had with people.  Many years ago I might have considered that sex…but that action is empty, and because of it I can connect

Sex is more than an act

Seduction is more than a process

and Sexuality is more than what you think you like.

There is a life to all of this.  A making of love that needs to be done to the world.  There is a humanity to it.

Intimacy is forgotten, for the the act of sex rather than the experience of it.

When walking up to the apartment I see 2 dark figures in a corner.

It looks like they are having sex in some bizarre drug deal.

I get closer, and they see me and I can see them more clearly.

They are young, they seem happy…they look at me smile and walk off into the night.

I then see my friend’s head hanging outside of the window smoking a cigarette.

I hear a woman shouting, “Welcome to Prague!”

I then see it is from a stark naked woman sitting on the windowsill that I also loved to smoke out of and my friend.

It was one of those things…

You’re tired, you’re thinking in your head and the mysteries of the world are starting to connect in your thoughts…then there is a naked woman with beautiful breast just 1 meter above you shouting with the joys of having a random great sexual adventure on a night in Prague.

I got into the apartment and my friend came out and told me…

“Just before you came up this couple saw us fucking in the window and started wanking each other off, right in the street…I couldn’t believe it.”

I said, “Man!  I saw them!  They were just around the corner having sex.  I thought it was some fucked up hooker drug deal, but as soon as I saw their faces I knew they were just having this great sexual experience.”

He said, “I gotta sleep, but I don’t think I am with this girl.  You might have to put on your headphones.”

I put on my headphones.  I didn’t get to sleep for another 2 hours.

They definitely kept me up.

Lucky girl.

2 hours of sleep and we were getting in the van to Bratislava.

Sept 1, 2011

Prague, Czech Rep

The past few days have been surreal

The last 2 days I have been a dream.

It was only 48 hours and feels like a week…maybe a lifetime.

It is hard to let go of these moments.

I spent one day swimming in the beautiful public baths in Bad Voslau, running through the forests of Austria, entered a ‘fun house’ (“this is a place where you have to have skills”), consumed a kilo of meat…and the next day I went on a road trip to Prague.

When you hang out with the right people all of your actions turn into experiences.

You feel these things while being on the road.

In Austin, I still have some amazing experiences, but I am attached to so much there.

Sitting on a balcony in the cool air of the Austrian morning the world seems big again.

I can definitely take the simple beauties of life for granted while being at home.

It is a sad reality that I have to travel thousands of miles away to realize them.

If there was one thing that I truly value it is the people. Who I am involved with is the one thing that I allow myself to shape me.

In my life I have had many spiritual experiences, but many times the purest spiritual experience is one person talking to another.

It is a simple act and we give it up so we can try and have what we think is reality.

Today I am in Prague, a beautiful city.

I have never been here before, and it is humbling.   I have explored very little, but you can see how much history there is here.

Prague is very much a tourist city.

I am sharing an Apartment with James Marshall, Johny Koops, and Sasha.  We are all working together on James’ Euro Tour workshop.

I have already found my favorite place of the apartment…a windowsill looking over an empty cobblestone street.

I sit there and smoke a cigarette.

I don’t usually smoke, but in Europe it somehow makes sense.

The apartment is an interesting contrast from the environment I had just left in Austria.

There I stayed at my friend’s house, which was neat and orderly.

Here it is like an apartment made for a bachelor.   I love it, but I do miss the cleanliness of the Austrian’s.

It is definitely different here.

The 4 of us, James, Johny and Sasha will begin a 14day workshop traveling through, Czech, Slovakia, Hungry and Croatia.  We will be working non-stop.

I wanted to do this workshop because there are very few people I respect in the industry of dating/seduction/pick up and all 3 of them I feel close to.

Haseeb, my professional poker player friend, is here as well.

Yesterday, when I arrived in Prague I tried to rest as much as possible.

Sleep is tough.  Jetlag is a bitch!

Today we met with the guys who we will be working with.   It is a diverse mix of guys, mostly Australian.  Haseeb and I are the only Americans.

Everyone is excited, everyone is ready for the crazy 14 days ahead of us.

Tonight I took it easy again.

Went out to dinner with the all the guys and ate one of the best steaks I have had in a long time.

Afterwards then rest of the crew ventured off into the streets of Prague.

I took off with Haseeb to see Petrin Hill.   A tower that overlooks the city.

We walked through the city, over crowed with tourist.

Crossed the Vltava river.  Despite all the crowds of tourists taking pictures and clamor of the many different languages being spoken, there is a humbling beauty to it all.

We then made the long hike up to the Petrin Hill, while Haseeb told me about his life and how he misses the girl he had to move away from in the US, and the drama of a poker player.

Once we made it to the tower we opted to walk up its many steps to get to the top rather than the elevator.

There it is quiet.

Overlook the city in silence.

You can’t help but thinking while you’re up there, I don’t want this experience alone.

When talking about the idea of The Sexual Life this is what people don’t get.

People think that sexuality is something larger than life.  They think it is something that somehow fits at the ends of pornography and shame.  We forget to realize that being sexual is simply a part of life.

In life we forget that we need to be ourselves, and get confused with mixing up who we are with an identity that is not us.

 

We forget that life is not just a series of actions, or a process that we can piece together, but rather the allowance of experience that come from our actions.

 

We forget that life is not about the results and definitions we sell to one another, but about the purpose and sense of self we develop from our experiences.

If only we thought of sex in this way…

If Sex was more than an action

Seduction more than just a process

And Sexuality was a purpose rather than the definition you build by empty actions.

It is human, it knows no boundaries, there are no rules to it…but you do have to respect it, or like many things if you’re not humble you will be humiliated

I think of this every time I meet someone new.

I think of this every time when I meet a woman who’s beauty is humbling, yet they have never felt like a woman.

Women no longer know what it is to be a woman and a man no longer knows what it is like to feel like a man.

All we are left with is trying to learn how to be alpha, learn how to be dominant…we are made of actions without experience.  Results with no purpose, and a mask that is only covering up who we are.

It is in the quiet and solitude that an answer comes.

Tonight I will go to sleep in my last night of peace for the next 2 weeks.

One day I will learn to relax and take my woman here so that I can experience the peace and silence with her.    Feel at one with the world next to her.

Seduction is like this…slow, quiet, paced and moves with you.

It is so far from how it is presented to us, instead of a refection, it is a broken mirror we try and mend together.

Tonight I love my life, and I am alone

“There is not better feeling than the one when you first meet someone special.  This is when they say you get butterflies in your stomach.  This is better than any feeling you can get from anything else.  You only can feel it once.”

Julia told me this while sitting outside last night.

I had met Julia the last time I was in Austria, through Nina – whom I originally met while travelling in Mexico on Christmas…Long story

We were in the Austrian town of Baden (outside of Vienna), at the cafe outside the casino.

Austria is one of the most peaceful countries you can visit.

It is quiet, the air is cool.  Everything about it is calming.

Julia and I were talking about the different things people do to feel better.

Relationships

Sex

Love

&

Anything else that one can find outside of themselves to change how they feel

I was talking about things like drugs, sex, alcohol and whatever else I have used that has made me feel something other than reality.

I talk a lot about my relationship, how I fear I am not able to be loved or love someone fully.

I can meet every woman in the world, and yet the one I love I do not settle with.

The many things in life that we do to better our human experience will also destroy us if we try to control them.   This is our problem   Our culture has taken things that are so basic and fundamental (life, sex, socializing, eating, family) and turned them into confusion. It only makes sense when we live in nonsense.

We no longer eat, we consume We no longer have sex, we have porn or live in shame We no longer connect and communicate, we take, barter, trade and steal

When it comes to Seduction we see this in out obsession to control it. Women want to ‘look’ sexy, men want to be alpha, yet neither has a concept of either of these things.

It was about 3 years ago that I started to realize the worst sex I would have was always with the ‘hottest’ women.

Those ideal girls… the ones who are the icons of a sex starved culture.

The unhappiest people were the ones that did whatever they could to get what they wanted.   The people that were at the top and made it a point to show it.

The people that were the most toxic and alien people were the ones who prioritized ‘social value’.   This doesn’t mean people of beauty are not sexual, or that people that get what they want are unhappy people, but the people that have been the most fucked up, lost, confused and lonely were always the people who lived for excess. We all want to be at the top of an imaginary mountain rather than look at where we naturally stand. We want this because it make us ‘happy’ But happiness has less to do with being at the top and more to do with being where you stand.

It is funny, every night I can sit underneath the stars, looking up at the night sky. I can relax the world can become massive again. I can imagine how amazing it can be to simply be a human being, and share that with someone next to me… I can feel love without a need for it to be anything more than what it is and yet I don’t.

It is that desire for more The idea that I can take what’s mine Obsession with the things outside of myself Those are the things that keep butterfly’s wings from moving Those are the things that keep me from having that ‘one’ moment and tell me that I can manufacture my moments

It is nights like this that make me remember sometimes I just need to sit be someone underneath the stars, rather than the person trying to move them

Total Immersion Online

Feb 15 – June 15, 2011

The Ultimate Social Dynamic

• Guaranteed to put you on the path to your Ultimate Sexual Life 
• The Only Online Program teaching you Seduction
• 6 months 
• Limited to 6 guys

Bottom line -

If you put in the work in 90 days you will be Transformed into Living your Sexual Life!

*Be Social * Be Sexual * Be You*

Total Immersion Online is The most powerful form of communication

and the only program that is 100% Customized to you

One time payment of – $1200 USD  - Save $240!!!

Or make 6 Monthly Payments – $240 per month

In the last 2 years we have completely evolved the Total Immersion Online  Program. 

Not only will you learn the most effective ways to start having  the best sexual experience of your life with the most exceptional women

but you will also expand your skills in all forms of communication.

Professionally –

• Make a massive impact on your potential clients
• Colleagues
• and
• Dominate in your interviews,
• position yourself at the top in all your interactions
• Master the art of selling and building instantly intense connections with your clients.
• Guide any conversation into your strengths

 Seduction - 

• Turn women on the moment you approach
• Learn the road map of Seduction
• Have women melt in a 3min conversation
• Get the women that you want, not the women you’ve got
• How to Seduce and Connect with anyone in anyway you desire
• Learn how I turned my one bedroom apartment into the ultimate playmate mansion
• The the most developed storytelling method that will have women follow you across the world just to be next to you.  

*********************

The Course Details

Total Immersion Online

Feb 15, 2012 – June 15, 2012

Limited to 5 guys

4 PDFs – Over 100 pages of the most cutting edge Seduction Material on the market

• Identity
• Engaging (the Momentum of Attraction)
• Rapport Cycling and Qualification
• Storytelling

4 Video Tutorials 

• Master your Identity
• Learn how to Instantly Attract, using Bait, Teasing and the most effective ways to Approach
• The Art of Rapport Cycling
• High impact Storytelling – The method that literally had women follow me around the world just to be by my side

42 Coaching Calls 

• Twice a week I work with you directly to achieve your ultimate Sexual Life.  These calls are no joke.  We work hard, no one gets left behind and you’re expected to be pushed to your limits!

Private Forum Access 

• The most private forum online.  
• Solid material on Sexual technique, Strippers and hired guns, and guys actively getting laid.
• Interact with Total Immersion Alumni and Mastermind Alumni

18 Assignments and Challenges 

• These challenges are specifically designed for you to achieve your goals, making you the ultimate Seducer. 

6 Month Course

• We are going for 6 months on this course completely redefine your lifestyle so that you will be living your Ultimate Sexual Life

*** This is a program that demands work, commitment and drive

If you’re not ready to completely change and revolutionize your social dynamics in all areas then leave the seat on this course for someone that will use it.

Sign up Today!

Total Immersion Online

Nov 15 – Feb 15, 2011

The Ultimate Social Dynamic

• Guaranteed to put you on the path to your Ultimate Sexual Life 
• The Only Online Program teaching you Seduction
• 90 Days 
• Limited to 10 guys

Bottom line -

If you put in the work in 90 days you will be Transformed into Living your Sexual Life!

*Be Social * Be Sexual * Be You*

Total Immersion Online is The most powerful form of communication

and the only program that is 100% Customized to you

One time payment of – $895 USD   *Save $60*

Or make payments – $319 per month

In the last 2 years we have completely evolved the Total Immersion Online  Program. 

Not only will you learn the most effective ways to start having  the best sexual experience of your life with the most exceptional women

but you will also expand your skills in all forms of communication.

Professionally –

• Make a massive impact on your potential clients
• Colleagues
• and
• Dominate in your interviews,
• position yourself at the top in all your interactions
• Master the art of selling and building instantly intense connections with your clients.
• Guide any conversation into your strengths

 Seduction - 

• Turn women on the moment you approach
• Learn the road map of Seduction
• Have women melt in a 3min conversation
• Get the women that you want, not the women you’ve got
• How to Seduce and Connect with anyone in anyway you desire
• Learn how I turned my one bedroom apartment into the ultimate playmate mansion
• The the most developed storytelling method that will have women follow you across the world just to be next to you.  

*********************

The Course Details

Total Immersion Online

Nov 15, 2011 – Feb 15, 2012

Limited to 10 guys

4 PDFs – Over 100 pages of the most cutting edge Seduction Material on the market

• Identity
• Engaging (the Momentum of Attraction)
• Rapport Cycling and Qualification
• Storytelling

4 Video Tutorials 

• Master your Identity
• Learn how to Instantly Attract, using Bait, Teasing and the most effective ways to Approach
• The Art of Rapport Cycling
• High impact Storytelling – The method that literally had women follow me around the world just to be by my side

24 Coaching Calls 

• Twice a week I work with you directly to achieve your ultimate Sexual Life.  These calls are no joke.  We work hard, no one gets left behind and you’re expected to be pushed to your limits!

Private Forum Access 

• The most private forum online.  
• Solid material on Sexual technique, Strippers and hired guns, and guys actively getting laid.
• Interact with Total Immersion Alumni and Mastermind Alumni

18 Assignments and Challenges 

• These challenges are specifically designed for you to achieve your goals, making you the ultimate Seducer. 

Over 90 Days 

• We are going for 4 months on this course to compensate for the holidays.  In that amount of time we will completely redefine your lifestyle so that you will be living your Ultimate Sexual Life

*** This is a program that demands work, commitment and drive

If you’re not ready to completely change and revolutionize your social dynamics in all areas then leave the seat on this course for someone that will use it.

Sign up Today!

 Thanks,

Steve Mayeda

Seduction – the Process

Something needs to change…

I cannot do this anymore, not in this way.  I cannot do this through the filter of the Industry.

Part of me feels sick and the other part of me feels full of life.

I am celebrating a death so to speak.

I am on a plane flying over the Atlantic.

I am out of balance

On one side of me there is confusion…

anger

and on the other side I am full of clarity and life.

This is where things change, this is where moments of insight turn into movements.

I am coming back to the US from a trip through Europe.

It has been more of an experience, it has been gone beyond that.

But like all experiences they are meant to be felt in that moment.

As the days go that experience transitions to a memory.

I went to Europe for the 21 Convention,

made a trip to Austria, made a trip to Germany then London meeting some of the best people of my life, as well as confronting some of the things which have made me angry for the past few years.

For the past few years I have not posted as much on this blog because it has not had a proper voice.  I have been struggling with how to articulate my feelings on my own evolution in Seduction and Life.

After 10 days of experiencing some of the best moments of my life in Austria and Germany I came to London and immersed myself into something that was lacking life – The Seduction Industry.

Sadly the 21 Convention is the only convention within the Seduction Industry that has branched out to something complete and now self-defining.  I want this blog to follow the same path.  I want to voice this through the idea of the Sexual Life.

The Sexual Life

What is Sexual?

and

What is Life?

2 of the most natural things,

Things that are already within us

Things that we can all relate with

Things that we can all share

And for some reason they elude us

In order to understand what I mean by this I want to structure these concepts and ideas…

To be Sexual means a combination of these 3 things

1)    Sexual

1. Sex – the Act
2. Seduction – the Process
3. Sexuality – the Result

To live Life is also a combination of these 3 things

 

2)    Life

1. Belief
2. Experience
3. Purpose

I have always liked sex.

Even before I ever came close to it, it meant something to me.

I would draw pictures of movie characters I like, fantasize and everything I have come to find a normal boy does.

I thought, like everyone that I was different and when my parents discovered this they also thought I was different.

It wasn’t until I was 18 that I actually had sex.

I had sex just to have it.

And although the process of seduction was still foreign to me I was taking my first steps towards it.

My sexuality – the result of my sex actions – was still at that point fear, insecurity and the incapability of being honest.

One day I will write about this whole experience, but we will save this for another post.

It wasn’t till many years later that I understood the meaning of Seduction.

That wasn’t until I was about 26.  By then my Sexuality was full of anger confusion and no concept of exchange and honesty, but I knew I liked sex.

I had met a girl named Julia.

She worked with me at a restaurant.

The first night we got together was the day after my girlfriend at the time had cheated on me with my friend.

At the time I drinking a lot, playing music I did my last play that year too.  I had a pretty huge theatre background.

I was loud, rowdy and it was no doubt that I was alive (wild and crazy) but I was still not living life.

Julia showed me how to make love.

I thought I had felt it before, but she truly showed it to me what it meant to have sex with me entirely.  With Julia I exchanged, I learned to share my entire self with someone through the act of sex.

At the same time I held on to my girlfriend that had cheated on me as well.  She cheated on my once,

I ended up cheating on her countless times after that.

But also through the act of sex I learned how to feel and exchange with her.

This scared me.

When you are sexual with someone you explore those levels of intimacy and connection where your entire being is challenged by it.   You feel someone so deeply that you loss yourself in it.

It can scare you,

It can rattle you,

You either face it or you run.

I have had plenty of bad relationships with women, ones where I would say that I was a terrible partner.

But when there is love (what I felt with those 2 women) it brings something else out of you…especially when your sexuality is full of chaos and anger.

I have never been so mean in my life as I was to those 2 women.

When they tell me of it now I can’t believe that I had acted that way.   I can’t even believe it was me.

And yet they loved me and I loved them.

Within that love

within that experience

I was afraid to feel

I was afraid to let them feel all of me.   Maybe I would let them feel me sexually, but I wouldn’t let them feel my life.  It was a great imbalance.

It was a lack of vulnerability.  My fears of the intimacy that I would share outweighed my desire to connect.

My fears owned me.

I was so afraid to share myself, and so willing to fall in love with 2 people at the same time and not have any concept of how to be responsible for it.

This built who I was.

A boy that was trying to be a man.  A boy that knew how to make love but not be in love.

A boy that dipped myself into love and couldn’t let go.

My desire to feel what was good and not care about the world that was being affected around it.

This is what a boy does…

There is nothing wrong with being confused, there is nothing wrong with being lost, but when you live by that confusion it will kill you.

You have no balance between being sexual

You have no balance in life.

If you have

Sex without Seduction

and

Seduction without Sexuality you live by fantasy.

Your acts of sex will never be you.

Looking back on all of this it took me so long to realize that being a man meant doing what was right even when you had no concept of what was right.

Being a man meant having the courage to act, but also be responsible for your actions.

At 28 I had been with 12 or 13 women.  I was a father, and I found the Pick Up Artist community.

When I was 30 I had been with over 80 women.  In fact I had lost count.

I had sex, but it was so distant from who I was.    I had sex but I had no Sexuality.

I was in love with being falling in love, but didn’t know how to be in love.

I could seduce, I could get sex, I could get attention but I had no sense of intimacy.

I was in love with sex and an action, not an exchange.

In love with women but didn’t know how to make her feel like a woman because I did not know how to be a man.

I didn’t know what seduction really meant.  I did not know it meant to exchange.

I didn’t realize that seduction was a woman’s game.  I thought it was mine. I thought I could control it.

I was afraid to let myself go with a woman.  I was afraid to feel.

When I say seduction is a woman’s game it means that it is the process appreciating a woman, chasing a woman, being allured by a woman.

As a man we never realize that if it were up to us, if we made the rules we would be grabbing women and carrying them away.   Simply having our way with them and being done.

But as men we don’t want that.

We may fantasize about that, but what we want is for a woman to join us and complete us.   We want to chase a woman, we want to take her and have her in our arms

have her in front of us feeling who we are

and when she has felt that she can decide she wants us.

This is what was missing in the PUA Industry for me.  There was no answer for this.

The Seduction Industry has nothing to do with being a man, and everything to do with remaining a boy.

Get what you want but no need to feel

The answer to this came from a woman.  I had met her 3 years ago.

We had sex, she seduced, we made love.

She relaxed me.

It was as if every woman I had slept with before had taken a piece of me with them whether I wanted to or not.

With this girl the same happened, but when we would see each other again I would have it returned to me.

I would see myself in another light.  She taught me more about sex, seduction, sexuality and love than anyone before.

She defined my sexuality.

In those past 3 years I have tried to articulate and teach the path that woman had put me on.   It has come out in all sorts of different ways.

________

When I speak of my dislike of the seduction industry it is more out of seeing it as incomplete more than anything else.

It has no answer, it has how to approach, how to make friends, how to look cool.

It is missing so many things, and misrepresenting even more.

But at its root it doesn’t show you how to be a man, it doesn’t show you how to be sexual, it doesn’t show you how to live life.

It is missing its purpose, it is missing the experience and it is missing its perspective.

________

I am leaving Europe back to Austin.

My heart has so many stories within it that I am taking back home with me.  I know I need to write about them.  I know I need to share them, at least for myself.

But that is the problem with memories.  They fade, as time goes by they see less and less of that breath of life.

I guess that fear is still within me, I want to hold on.   I want to hold on to what happened in those moments.

Sitting on a baloney in the Austrian countryside smoking a cigarette

Having a woman get to feel like a woman all over again

Standing next to a fire and listening to a man play guitar around frineds

Hitchhiking through Europe

Taking the train with my friend to Ausberg,

Staying up with my friend Dominik talking philosophy,

Getting to my friend Nina that she is a woman even though she probably didn’t listen,

I got to let another woman know sex was beautiful again,

Walking in the rain angry and cold through London only to have my friend Chris come and make me realize life is beautiful even when you’re wet.

This is the experience.

And many times I forget that the experience has so much to do with finding your purpose and living by it.

You need people for that,

you need connection for that.

You need to have that part of yourself that you’re willing to share even though you are afraid of the outcome.

I have done many things that have required courage, and I have also walked away in fear trying to forget

Life doesn’t work that way.

What The Sexual Life means to me is to live, to express, to be you and to truly assert who you are into the world,

and all you can do is accept what comes back.

Till next time,

Steve

Total Immersion NYC Aug 19-21

*3 Days to a new you! 

*100% Infield

*The only Customized and Personalized Approach to make   you the Seducer

July 22- 24, 2011

Total Immersion Infield – for a complete life change

Be Social * Be Sexual * Be You

*Limited to 6 People

Total Immersion Infield is the only Infield workshop that works with you  completely and entirely on a customized level.

Truly no other workshop can compare to it.

You will not only learn a customized approach to how you interact with women, but also learn how to seduce while being completely authentic to who you are and what you want.

My Expectation for you walking out of this workshop

#1 – Get your belief in Approaching in Any situation down
Enter any group of women, or social situation with confidence.

#2 – Approach, Seduce and Escalate while being authentic to who you are.

#3 – Begin the road to where you will be living your Sexual Life. This means you will be able to be your best self, approach the world with confidence and have the experiences of your life that will redefine your reality.

*************

When – Aug 19-21

Location – NYC, NY

$1199.00

Your Itinerary –

Day 1

Fri – Aug 19

2pm – Meet for our Introductions and Weekend goals and Assignments

5pm – Body Language and Escalation Drills

630pm – Dinner break

10pm – Infield

2am – Debrief

Day 2

Sat – Aug 20

4pm – Tonight’s Goals and Expectations

6pm – Individualized Exercises and Drills (depending on what you encountered the previous night we will customize everything for you)

7pm – Dinner break

10pm – 11pm – Infield Direct game

11pm – Infield

2am – Debrief

Day 3

Sun – Aug 21

4pm – Start with Daygame Infield

7pm – Hired guns

9pm – Group Dinner (I will take you all out for dinner, as well as we go over our extended plan of action)

10pm – Infield – Final night out, we will give it all we got!

The guys I work with define me,

They are my honor and pride

Come and Join us in The Sexual Life

Traveling on a Shoestring – The Enlightenment of Vulnerability

For the past few months I have been wanting to make this more of a Blog again.

There are a few things to mention here…

#1 – London Workshop

The 21 Convention Special – 3 Days

Day/Night Seduction Course – If you’re interested in Sexual Interactions, that is what this course is about

*Limited to 5 people

*Does not conflict with any speakers at the convention

₤680 or $1100 USD

Fri, June 3 – Infield 9pm-2am

Sat, June 4 – Seminar and Infield 7pm-2am Rapport Cycling and Customization

Sun, June 5 – Seminar Rapport Cycling and Customization

Everything I do is completely Customized and Personalized and gear toward being Sexual – This course is intimate and in-depth to Seduce.

#2 – Travel Updates

While I am Traveling I am going to be updating this as much as I can.

I personally feel that living the Sexual Life is something encompasses life as a whole.   I have been pretty light in using this blog lately and I feel that there is a lot to be said.

While traveling there is always more to say…Despite the ads for the upcoming workshops and Mastermind Program I want to post about my adventures along the way.   The Sexual Life means living a life where you connect with the world.

In the past year I have traveled all over the world and feel that the most important aspects of that travel are the people that I have met and made friends with.

This brings me to this blog…

It seems like for the past few weeks I have been having friend after friend telling me that I am ‘living the life’.

I guess when you’re living it you don’t really see it.

To me I am just me.  Nothing too big, nothing too small.

In the many conversations that I have had about this, including the one I just had on the plane it gets into a conversation about Vulnerability and Sexuality.

—–

3 Years ago I decided that this was going to be my career.  If I was going to take the ‘profession’ of PUA, Dating Coach, Life Coach (all titles I hate) on fulltime I needed to redefine what all this meant to me.

My passion has always been people.  Even when it came to ‘picking up’ chicks…it was always about people.

I had to start looking at interacting with people as something more than what I could get out of it.   I had to start looking at meeting people as something beyond a woman or what I thought I was attracted to.

In August of 2008 I realized that this had to be a part of my purpose.  I am not religious in any way, and never have been.

However I started seeing my interactions with people (all people) as a spiritual experience.

This was a huge difference in perspective.  I went from a taker mentality to one of being more open.

____

How and why this is so important when it come to travel is this…

Above there is a video showing you what I have packed and how light I travel.

I also state that I am just staying with friends, and although I don’t have anything planned (in terms of a place to stay) in London, I have complete faith that things will work out.   If they don’t I will find a hotel…no big deal.

The thing is that I don’t go into this thinking about how I am going to take from someone, but I go into with the joy of having experiences with people that I meet along the way.   To explain this let’s jump back about 18 months…

In Dec of 2009, I was in Palenque Mexico with my friends.

It was Christmas and at the hostel we were staying at everybody was on a lotta drugs.

I don’t drink or do drugs so I was bored out of my mind.  Still an amazing experience but watching a group of people doing acid and ecstasy can get old.

There were 2 girls who seemed to no be on anything sitting at one of the tables in the hostel.   I started talking to them…

I ended up talking to them all night, even till the party stopped in the hostel.  They were 2 girls from Austria – Nina and Isa.

After that night they were gone…

Maintained being friends on Facebook with them, every once and while talk to them on Skype…but nothing much.

One of the girls, Nina, got stranded in Hawaii and asked me for help and she crashed at my brother’s place one night…in fact she and my brother joked that, although she was “Steve’s friend” they had spent more time together than me.

When I posted that I was coming to Europe for the21convention.com my friend immediately emailed me telling me I had a place to stay in Vienna and that it was Isa’s birthday on Sat and I had to come.

This same thing happened to me in Brazil a few months ago with my friends there.   I had met those girls in Las Vegas over 2 years ago and they took me in and showed me Rio for 16 days.    I dont’ know anyone else who has stayed in Brazil and only spent $500 while there and lived on the beach in Barra de Tijuca.

3 Years ago I met my girlfriend in Trinidad Tobago while working over there on a 1 on 1.

The thing is that when I travel I tend to travel light.  I travel by any means necessary…and especially for an American I recommend traveling.  Especially traveling within the USA.  It opens your mind.

When I travel I have the surroundings influence me as much as possible.  This is why I travel so light and on a ‘shoestring’.   Yes it is cheaper, but it also allows you to be humbled by the world.

We try are a culture where we are always trying to control and for what?  We have become a culture where assurance in the outcome outweighs the experience.   This is the opposite of vulnerability

——–

This all translates to The Sexual Life -

Many people think being vulnerable as being weak or having some sort of hindrance.

Vulnerability has nothing to do with that.   That is what people never got right in the taker mentality of pick up.

Vulnerability menas sharing, opening yourself up, exchanging – yet having the willingness to sacrifice parts of you for that connection.

There is a difference and I hope you see it…

To be vulnerable you have to value connection, value people, value the world around you more than simply what you want.

That is Sexuality and that is what drives me…

Steve