Tacit and Cruzzer I haven’t forgotten about your post requests…

I really love it.
Finally I am at a place where I can work with a select group of guys that want to learn and focus on some really quality content and dedication.

There have been a few things other than that happening….

Here is what is happening with my Friends (some family too) that I really think is Kick Ass!

Sorry not too much about the lady getting stuff, but believe me there is more of that to come. I have been spending most of my PUA time focusing on this group. You will see the result is a wealth of information coming up.

As always GET ON THE LIST!
Lot so Audio going out in the next 4 weeks too.

So let’s start off with my Cousin

Ian Kuali’i…

He’s a bad ass.
If you ever wanted to know someone who is a natural then you shoudl talk to him. Anyone who can be a waiter at a restaurant and make friends with Dr Dre, Matt Damon, Angelina Jolie and so on…having Matt Damon fly him to the Dominican Republic just to hang on a film shoot is pretty bad ass.

He is one of the very few people I would call an Artist and here is some of his stuff with Doze Green (if you’re really into hip hop and breakdancing…you know who that is).

His GF Cynthia is bad ass too!

See her talent at http://cynrose.com/

OFF THE WALL :: Doze Green – Studio Visit from friendswelove.com on Vimeo.

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Marko Slavnic

This guy is one of my friends in Austin and he made a film a few months ago that won the $100,000 first place prize for his film at the Nikon Film festival, Chicken vs Penguin.

The bad ass thing about Marko is that he has always been someone who has lived what he believed in.

People that do that take huge risks…not the kind that people tend to brag about to impress people, but the risk that after you have lived life you learn to look up to.
Marko will continue with his film career and hopefully you follow it, cause he has got a lot to show and share.

——

LA Jones and Melelani K

These are both of my other Cousins.
LA made this bad ass film – One Night Stand …a little bit more on edge than Marko’s but let me tell you – if you run into this situation…watch out.

First off I am pretty stoked cause it has been LA’s dream to make films and this is his first one.  He also shot it on film rather than HD video.   He is no pussy…hahahaha
What you can learn from this is…Sometimes you don’t need to go for the SNL or else.
It is a toss up between Mele and Ian for my favorite Cousin, but I will say Mele is the most bad ass chick I have ever known. a while ago she told me I should dump my GF so I did. The girl I have been dating for the past while is the only one Mele approves of – hahahahha! Aside from that She is the Bartender in LA’s movie.

Can’t wait till they tie the knot!!!
I can’t wait to go to NYC to eat LA’s lasagnia too!!!

Watch both parts to get it all!!!

Part 1

and here is Part 2

Som How to Movies for your viewing Pleasure as well

——–

How to Get Laid!

Yes we have the formula…

———

How to Know you’re a Sex Addict!

As for now that is it…

I still have some posts that I promised Tacit and Cruzzer that I would write…I assue you they will be on the way.

However there is always something about us that loves to absorb as much info or to focus on the most elaborate techniques.

We all remember those Bruce Lee movies, and we have all been there where we were ready to turn our life over to the study of Jeet Kune Do so that we could achieve the same mastery as Bruce Lee.

There is no doubt to make real change in your life you need to put in the ‘work’, however the ‘work’ is not done in a day.  It is done over time.

In the past 2 years or so I have really sought out people that I can learn from.

When I truly found someone who Had what I Wanted I realized they had a consistency.

These were people that weren’t just good at what I was looking for, these were guy that had a humbling effect on me when I met up with them.

Those people always gave advice that was so simple it almost didn’t make sense.

This could be people in terms of Happiness, Spirituality, Sex, Business, Friendship, Relationships, Music…whatever…it was always simple.

Even though I teach guys about women

Most of the emails (that I answer all personally, eltopoPUA@gmail.com) have to do with life.

People ask me about how they want a better lifestyle, how they want to feel more confident, do what they want, find purpose, how to convey their identity … far more than any ‘Game’ or ‘Sticking Point’ Question.

I –personally- lose focus all the time.  Almost on a daily basis I need to take time out of my day to refocus on what my Primary Purpose is.  In addition to this, I have to realize that any of my Ideals, Goals or Purposes need to not just be a belief but and action.

Below I want to share a list of things that help me keep focus that I have borrowed from the many Experts that I have met with and learned from. I am going to give a few real life examples from some of these guys to see how applicable these things can be, and how much personal change is possible.

5 Ingredients of Lasting Personal Change –

1- Upon Awakening -

When you wake up you need to spend a moment to take in the day.  This has many applications, but the 1 thing that you can remember here is that you think of what is ahead in the day.

You see religious people do this as Prayer (I am not religious), but also you see people who have had traumatic experiences like abuse or drug addiction do this in the form of simple making sure the first thing they do in the morning it have a sense of gratitude and make their bed.

The key is that, this is not a concept, it is an action.

One of the best Examples of this is my Friend Vince who lives on Maui.  He is quite possibly the business guy I respect most.  Vince lives a pretty simple life, he owns a store, he works at a hospital, and he owns a whole bunch of houses.

There are a ton of wealthy people who live on Maui, but very few have went from being a squatter, sleeping on their record collection to being a millionaire.   Few also hold down a normal job as well.

Every morning Vince made it a point to wake up early and spend time with his son. Often times he would go to the Café with him at 6am, before his son went to school.

He would hardly talk to anyone else, but he made sure the time was spent whatever challenges he was to face in the day.

I also would have to bring up my friend Paul.  Paul is a corporate giant.  Probably one of the most successful guys I know in terms of business.  I know a lot of wealthy people, but Paul is pretty much beyond what most people can imagine.

When Paul was in his early 30s he did alright.  Then he lost pretty much everything.

This isn’t the best feeling by any means.   As we all know, when this happens you feel lost and worthless.  It is like life was all a waste.

He then started Zen Meditation every morning.   He joined a group that did this.  Over the years he built himself back up to a pretty Massive Level.  When he was telling me about the changes he made in his life he told me Joining that Morning Zen Group was the single most important thing that made him get to where he is at.

2- Daily Application –

When you are focusing on something it is best to do something applicable with it on a daily basis.   For myself and most people I talk to it is common to try and get as much information as possible and do it all at once and then try and do it.  We try and accomplish our lifetime goals in a day.  This sort of gusto is not sustainable on a daily basis.

This is one of the hardest things to accomplish.

It is better to work at 1 simple thing on a daily basis, than doing 100 times as much in one day and not doing anything else that week.

From my ‘observational’ experience I put my money on the guy doing a simple thing daily.

From my ‘personal’ experience my instinct always trying to be that guy who does everything at once.

You can see this be applied over and over again, in any discipline – music, martial arts and so on.

My buddy Justin is someone who really showed me how important this was in personal change.  In my own quest for personal change one thing Justin told me was that if I were to focus on 1 thing a day where I was brutally honest with someone then that was good enough.  He was very clear that if I were to try and do an overload of ‘good deeds’ or something else like that, it would be actually working against me, and I would have less impact on positively changing the things directly relevant to me.

3- Fellowship –

You need to be around like-minded people.

I used to not think this way at all.  I felt socializing took too much time away from my focus.

In someway you need to be a part of a community.  We are socially influenced people no matter how introverted you are, you still reach out to online communities and need to be around like minded people.  I feel that face-to-face communication is best, but that might not be in your immediate reach.

If you want to learn more about happiness you need to be around people who are pro-actively doing that.

If you want to learn more about business, then you need to be around people that are proactively doing this.

This will rub off on you, also if it is a good group, they will help you out!

You have heard this all before – but my Aunt Carolyn would always tell me this, among many other things.   In fact she would always call me (and still does) ‘the Dark One’.

She would tell me – “you need to be more Balanced.  Being Balanced doesn’t mean doing 1 good thing and then 1 bad thing…you need to hangout with people who don’t have to do either of those things to be happy.

Another example of this is that I have always hated Internet Marketers, and they always approach me, probably cause I suck at it.

It wasn’t until I started to meet the Internet Marketers in Austin who were actually 1)Successful and 2)Genuine guys that I have entertained the concepts of Internet Marketing.

What you see from this group of guys is people really learning form each other, there are no secrets and there is a massively healthy mentality.   Funny enough they are much more successful than any of the Internet Marketers that I had met before.

4- Be Human –

This is perhaps something so fundamental and necessary yet none of us look at it.

At one moment during the day it is absolutely necessary to realize you are human.  There needs to be a sense of humility, you need to realize that you have something in common with someone else.

Every person I have met, hands down has an aspect of this.

There are guys I know who are cut throat businessmen, I mean they can be brutal to people, so much to the point it makes me uncomfortable – however, there is a side to them that always gets exercised almost everyday – and that is this ‘human’ quality.

There is always a moment where I see them separate themselves from their ego and identity and are able to look at someone, anyone in the eye and relate on a human level.

You could call it empathy, compassion, or just being normal.

People who achieve success and don’t’ have this quality end up staying stagnant, and their success becomes a curse at the same time, fueling something that further separates them from who they really are.

I am going to illustrate this by bringing up my friend Fred.  About 13 Years ago Fred’s mother of his kids was doing a drug deal and got murdered.  Fred was trying to stop doing drugs as well.

Fred never really had anything in his life established,, he had no purpose, no direction and a lot of bad habits.

Fortunately he started making some huge changes in his life.

He said that he had to start seeing things on a ‘human’ perspective everyday.  It didn’t matter what was going on in his life he had to be able to clearly see the person in front of him without judgment at least once a day.

A few years ago, Fred was in fantastic shape.  He ran 12 miles a week, did all this crazy Physical exercise and went in for a simple surgery.

There was a mistake in the surgery, and he ended up having a stroke, leaving Fred not able to do many of the things that made his life.

He said once he stopped trying to sue everyone he was happy again and the stroke was one of the best things that happened to him, because it calmed him down.

I call Fred the Wheelchair Yoda, cause he pretty much is.

Fred is probably one of the happier people I know.  It is pretty amazing.   When I asked Fred what was the most important thing in his crazy journey he said that 1) He learned how to Meditate and 2) He always was willing to be Human.

5- Gratitude the Action –

Of all these people I have met there is usually some nightly ritual that they incorporate with their lives.    It wasn’t just having a sense of Gratitude, but it was an action based around it.

For some guys this can be making a list at night of things that are positive in their lives.

For others this might be them doing some meditation-

One of the best examples this I heard from a guy Named Mike Dillard who is a pretty successful Marketer saying that he built his million dollar business on a note pad.

Before he went to sleep he took a page out of Rockefeller Habits ( a book many people have recommended to me)–

He made a list of the 5 things he needed to do at night for the next day.

They were not 10 things they were 5 things that he made it a point to do.

He had that if he did not get them done then he would not sleep…so they better be 5 things that he can reasonably do…

If you look through these things…maybe you do some of them, you will find they are fairly simple.

As I said I have met a lot of good people, but every single person I would consider a Great Person does some adaptation of all 5 of these things.

Their ‘Change’ doesn’t necessarily happen overnight, but over time.

If you want more good stuff like this make sure you GET ON THE LIST

Thanks

Steve

Being good with women means being someone who can make a woman feel like a woman and find a woman that can make you feel like a man.

Unfortunately everybody seems to be caught up in the first example I mentioned.

Now being able to approach is pretty necessary, and knowing hat to say is too, but the focus of these things has nothing to do with what you want.   Those things are the training wheels.  They are assumptions when compared to the reality of being someone good with women.

We get caught up with the masquerade and lose sight of the purpose.

To be honest there is nothing like a woman being able to fully be herself emotionally and sexually raw right there in front of you. What is better than that – is when she is sexually and emotionally raw and completely attracted to you in your purest form. When I first started looking for answers in this community in 2005, that is what I was looking for. —— So today I was on Facebook and one of the girls I met in Mexico started a chat with me.   She is from Austria and was freezing her ass off there.

*Actually I think I tried to reach her on Skype and then she found me on Facebook…then we went back to Skype. *

This girl is probably one of the more insightful women that I have met in terms of Sex and Sexuality.  She is very comfortable with is and has had a lot of experience with it. In fact our conversation started off with me asking about how sex can be somewhat illusive.  For instance I used to have Sex define my relationships.  I used to need to have really crazy sexual experiences in order to appreciate sex.   She understands this and also understands how that misses the point of sexuality as well. I was asking her about how my girlfriend and I were drawn to each other sexually and my girlfriend is probably more sexual than me, but sex eventually needs to be seen on a normal level and can’t define the relationship.    You need a sexual definition, but you can’t have sex define things.

I feel kinda weird pointing this out, but me talking to her about sex and my girlfriend is not some bullshit routine, it is actually something normal that I talk about.    Start seeing your interactions with women on a more normal or real level and you will not only start getting results, but you will also get reality as a result and no a manifestation of a fear.

Women that are sexually liberated is a big thing I am attracted to.  However this is a rare find. It is hard to find a girl that is together for one, but also it is hard to find a girl that is sexually confident. Women say the same thing…

They can never find a man that is sexually confident.   They can never find a man that makes them feel like woman.  They can never find a man that makes them feel like someone who can be sexually free.

If you want some insights on this stuff they can be gained from talking to women about sex.  As for guys in the PUA community I would say Jason Savage’s Blog is the best resource.  Hypnotica has bad ass stuff too. Everyone else seems to be more focused on that idea of getting attention. When I was talking to my Austrian friend it comes down to the same things I talk about with my woman all the time.

Men don’t know how to be men, cause women don’t know how to be women.

Some of the things you always hear in this community is – “Have her notice you” “Make the girls chase you” “Have her respect your value” and so on

These are good mentalities, but they are incomplete.  In fact to call them half done would be an overstatement.

The real issue that guys come to me with has nothing to do with those ideas. Men don’t feel like a Sexual Beings. They feel like men who are chosen based on a Cosmo Checklist rather than men that are made by themselves and respected for that. They feel like men who serve their women in their interactions instead of men that go for what they want – failure or success is the result.  A man is defined by the action. They feel like men that don’t know how to be themselves and truly please a woman. They don’t know how to assert that sexuality and attract a complimentary sexuality back.

Just as men don’t know how to be men, women don’t know how to be women.

This is all because – We as men don’t know how to make women know what it is like to be a woman.

Over 90% of what the PUA community talks about has nothing to do with this.  It has nothing to do with how we can be more of a man, and how we can not only make a woman feel like a woman, but attract a woman or women that can make us feel this way too. What my Austrian friend was saying is that (because she is a Very Sexually dominant female) is that the biggest turn off for her is when a man cannot get comfortable sexually with her.  She says this is a sign of someone not being able to be honest with themselves. One of the biggest turn offs fro me, is to find a girl that is obviously sexual, but is too afraid to express it.

A fundamental of Seduction is to realize and accept it is a woman’s game.

If it were up to men, we would just grab the women and make it happen right then and there. We don’t live in that world.  We live in a world where sex and seduction are a woman’s game.   And believe me I am not complaining about this… I think many guys have this anti-woman approach, I am definitely not saying that. Women have tremendous power in terms of Sex and Seduction. It is woman’s game.  The idea that we are the ones who have to approach and have to say and do certain things in order to impress them is an acceptance of this. That being said most of the information I read in terms of Seduction hardly acknowledges this.  It is voiced more long the lines that men just need to be not acknowledge or even entertain the idea of a woman’s power and at the same time still try and do all the things women like in order to bed her. Say this Routine Do this touching secret Wear these clothes Choose this Identity Drive this car Have this job Design this lifestyle In the PUA Community it is almost like these things are said to be a statement of our independence as men. When they are in some ways the opposite.

We need to see our independence as men as knowing women.

That doesn’t mean kissing ass, it means finding the right fit…making things happen. All the things we do that we say that matters in terms of Attracting a woman, let alone Seduce them are all part of playing the woman’s game of Seduction. If you can wrap your head around that idea and truly understand it you can realize how Expressing yourself and Seducing a woman is actually serving them and doing what women want rather than beating around the bush with all these stupid assumptions in terms of what they might like.

As put my friend from Austria – ‘When a guy is fucking me hard and completely dominating me he is the one serving me’

If that means serving a woman…then sign me up. See sex like that, start asserting your self and what you want in the right ways and you will start seeing a true unveiling of sex and relationships. As you may know – If you want to know more about this stuff you have gotta

GET ON MY LIST!

Pure gold gets emailed out on that!

Be a part of my Tribe, let’s kick some ass!!!

There 2 Missing Pieces in Success with Women –

It seems like most people in Pick Up talk about getting laid through a System or they talk about getting laid through being Authentic.

It is always either or…

the sad part is that nobody can mix the 2.

I find this really weird, considering that you would expect all those guys that learn from a System would actually get good with women and turn it into a lifestyle and thus be Authentic.

On the other side, the guys teaching you to be Authentic can never give you specific advice on what to do exactly.

One of the core things that I have always taught was how to be yourself while using a process.  This has been apart of everything that I have ever taught – the best example is theREDstack.  People always tell me I am selling routines and I try and tell them that theREDstack is not a list of routines, but it is your life put into my models of Qualification, Teasing and Emotionally engaging someone so that you will be able to meet the people that you want.

On another side note it is funny cause recently I started giving out references (emails of past clients who have theREDstack) to guys who have been inquiring about it and I forget how unique the product is.

So how does one be Authentic and also Learn in a Structured or Consistent way?

I think you need to ask yourself 2 Questions.

You need to ask –

1 – What are the best parts about me?

(these would be things like, what you would be proud to show people.  Things that you would see as your best part of yourself.)

2 – What do I want in a Woman?

(this would mean – what do you desire and value from a woman.  Every woman you meet might be attractive, however, what would make you more attracted to her than just her looks)

For myself the answer to the first question (what are the best parts about me) would be – I love people.   I almost see socializing as a religion.  In fact I really value having the right people in my life and cultivating the best relationships.

The answer to the second question (what do I want in a woman?) is easy.  When I first meet a girl and I am physically attracted to her I want to know if she is sexually confident and if she is someone that is open minded.

Those are pretty basic.  Now if you want ask yourself those same questions.

Since I am well aware of those 2 questions I can take my Structures of Opening, Qualification, Teasing – in General – Showing myself – and make it Authentic.

Why nobody is able to mix the 2 I don’t know.

So for instance if I want to use a structure for Opening based on my answers to those 2 questions it is easy.   I want to ask to do this –

- Ask a Question that is based on what I want in that woman –

- Tease based on her reaction

-Then implement a Qualification Pattern

(for instance I can do a pattern I call the Cycle – Qualify, then Ground, then Qualify then Ground the Qualify)

How the Cycle works is easy – You mix Qualifiers (questions I am interested in) with grounding (Stories based on myself or experiences) to get deeper and deeper towards the things I want to show about myself and the things I want to know about women.

This takes some creativity, but I feel that you are better off trying it than not.

Also you might be thinking – should I wait for her to answer the Questions?

Well you don’t need to, at first I would just say these things and if a girl engages in the conversation that is when you should lay off a little.   Allow her to voice herself and when she stops talking pick it back up.

If you can get through a few Cycles you will be pretty deep pretty fast.

Here is an example –

I like Open-mindedness when it comes to sex.  So I could open and say –

“This might seem like a weird question but what do you think about how closed off our culture is?”

She will probably be confused be this so I will tease her a little to build some compliance –

“I didn’t mean to scare you, I can already tell that you can intimidate the right people, but that just means you’re an open-minded person.”

Then you move on to the Qualifiers –

“For instance, let me ask you this…what do you think makes people the most nervous…”

Then you do your first Ground – just 2 sentences and it should last about 10 seconds only.  The point of the Ground is so that your Qualifier is not just some random question, it has something to do with you.

“Cause with me I actually think one of the most attractive qualities about people is how open-minded people are.  I have always found that the most interesting parts to someone are not on the surface.”

Now I am going to continue the Cycle and Qualify again but get more intense –

“So let me ask you, what would you say is really unique about you?”

She may or may not answer and I am going to ground again to define what this means to me.

“I think people I have always been someone that pushes the envelop,  for instance I have always been really creative, but sometimes it can offend people, especially people that don’t know me.”

And I am going to continue to Cycle and get deeper towards sexuality here.

“I can tell you’re confident – but if I were to ask you about your sexuality would you get nervous?”

Now I will ground again –

“I know for myself I have always been more comfortable with blurting out perverted things more than just being honest about things in my life.  I think that I really like it when I can feel comfortable with someone.”

Now I am going to stop there, but in an initial interaction the quickest I can to a Qualification Pattern like this then the sooner I will be able to Show the sides of myself that I really like and also bring out the parts of a woman that I really like.

Be creative and try it.

For all the readers of my blog – if you want to talk with me personally about this we are surveying my entire email list.

Please GET ON THE LIST to have the opportunity to talk with me more, and so I can talk to you!

Thanks

Steve

theREDmole.com – get some great free content and GET ON MY EMAIL LIST!

“I am in Scottdale AZ in late Nov 2009.  I am teaching a guy who had dropped out of Sinn’s 12 Months to Mastery Program.  I also have an assistant with me who had taken a Day Game Course that he very much appreciated from Sinn.  We are at a Club and it is about 10:30pm.  We see Sinn.  I tell my assistant we should leave.  My Assistant says he wants to see Sinn in action. We stay. It is probably the worst time to open.  Opening is so dependent upon logistics.  We watch Sinn get blown out over and over again.  Anyone would get blown out at this time, the club is in a frenzy. For the past 7 months or so Sinn has been publically slamming me. Yet he comes up to me nervously acting like nothing has happened, like it is old times… He tells me, ‘This place sucks tonight’ I am surprised he is talking to me so I say, ‘yeah’ Then after a long pause I ask, ‘why are you talking to me’ He walks away and continues nervously trying to open sets. Later that night Jon takes a jab at me on his twitter account. Also later that night my Assistant and I go to a Strip Club and set up a date with 2 Stripper in 15 mins.”

This is an article that I have thought long and hard about writing.

I am not sure if I would call Jon an Emperor, but this article is not just about him.  It is about the phenomenon of how the PUA industry has gone so wrong.  If the PUA Emperor were to come out of his shell then he would be seen as the ‘fool’ he is.   Sinn as well as many other PUAs who people look up to live in sort of a delusion of reality.   The PUA community is guilty of this. You would never want to be them.  The more you look up to them the more they distort into their own ill shaped definitions. Look at how they live (of what you can see) and ask why you would look up to them?  Look at their techniques…if they even work… But don’t put anybody on a pedestal. In writing something that can offend you need to really take a careful look as to how it can effect someone. In this case, this is about my old friend Sinn, I call him Jon and so do most of us in the Dallas scene. This article is not meant to hurt anybody, but it is more to shed some light on a few things. For instance Sinn (Jon) Just posted an article and podcast on his blog talking shit on a bunch of people.   Personally I am sick of all the shit talking.  There is too much of it.

It is like every Instructor out there is dead set on bragging about themselves and how good they are.  This is one of the main reasons for the BS in the community.  The massive ego that perpetuates it, swirls around a smoke screen of shit.   Rather than it being about bettering your life, it is about ‘Dressing Up’ and talking like a bunch of hens in the Kitchen.

It is sad that I am one of the only instructors that says “Judge Me by Me, Judge Me by my Students”…everyone else seems to say “Judge Me by my Façade”, and they have nothing to show for results with their students.

Fucking Pussies… You wanna meet my students, no prob, contact me, come to Dallas or Austin or find them in your Lair… You want to meet me face to face and talk about whatever come down and talk to me.  But this Bullshit about hiding online or as some amalgamation of an online entity needs to stop.  It ain’t only Jon who is guilty of this.   The end goal isn’t supposed to be some ‘cool guy’ that people in forums look up to, it is to be a fucking person who is happy…

I do agree with a lot of Jon’s points with some of the guys and girls he calls out, but Jon should be the last person talking shit.

I am writing this for the reader’s benefit and hopefully for Sinn too.  When I was run through the ringer I came out better.  It made me define myself – not by what other people thought of me, but by me and my life.

Throughout my PUA Career I have had my dirty laundry thrown out for everyone to see.  It am grateful for it.   I got nothing to hide because of it.   I am sure Jon will write some reactionary bullshit to this, cause that is what he does, and I say Bring It, and anybody else can too…all I gotta say is good luck to that.

To put things in perspective Jon has spent the last 9 months or so shit talking me, and blithering on and on about how I ripped him off and so and so.   It is almost like it his absurd marketing tool.  Jon wants attention = his shit talking and getting attention through his opinions. I have always remained quiet on my opinions on Jon and what he says about me. I don’t believe in shit talking.

At some point Sinn has got to be called out.

I always wondered why he would be so stupid to gossip about me, cause he knows I don’t’ care, he knows my customers don’t care and man I know a lot about him. I mean we all do in Dallas.

This article is not saying Sinn is a bad guy, a bad teacher or creates bad products.  It is just my opinions on how things happened in our interactions with each other.

In fact I will say this – If I were to choose 3 teachers who are the best at teaching the basics of technical game it would be DJ Fuji – AFC Adam – and Sinn. There aren’t many people on their level. Based on me know how good of a teacher Jon is I would fully endorse him.  Based on the feedback I have gotten from numerous students of his I would not endorse certain things – however he is one of the best PUA Instructors of all time. As someone who knows Jon fairly well I see him do this over and over going in circles.  Sadly I see it over and over with his friends. In Feb/March of 2008 Captain Jack, Sinn and myself were planning to start a Pick up Company together. It was Captain Jack who dropped out of this first.   CJ also encouraged me not to work with Jon, because of the pattern Jon had about turning on the people he was once friends with. At the current time it was Future (who is still a friend of mine) and in the past you could see the pattern of Lovedrop and Matador whom he had once been friends with and then switched on. I will still say to this day that one of the best BCs I have ever seen taught was a combination of Future and Jon.  They would talk about how they were best friends and how great it was teaching together.  As soon as Future stepped back from the community, Sinn then turned on him. It was not long after this that Shaft our other mutual friend told me to stop doing anything with Jon. He encouraged me to keep things very separate from him.  In fact he told me that it was obvious Jon uses people and he did not give a shit about me and would suspect that Jon was being harmful and deceptive with me. I was well aware of the signs and of Jon’s history with people however there were a few reasons I liked and continued to work with him. 1-    We were a great team.  Jon is by far one of the best teachers at the basics.  He is fucking great.   He is also extremely abrasive with his students, this can be beneficial.  I am not.  I am the opposite.  Also I teach things far less structured than Jon, but at the same time far more customized and far more advanced. 2-    I thought it would be good for my reputation and good for sales. To be honest we kicked ass.  If CJ had formed with us it would have been phenomenal.  I mean nothing could come close.  Jon is a very necessary component in all of this because at teaching the basics he is far better than CJ or myself.   CJ has his own highlights and I do as well, but they are taught best if someone already has a strong foundation. You see how Egos and Bullshit keep that from happening.  I am sure I had a big part in us not combining and CJ too, but no one had a bigger part than Sinn.   He completely fucked it up.  I will withhold the info between him and CJ but let’s just say they still talk with each other but they will never work together.  You can’t trust Jon. After a while the signs started to be really obvious. In fact I have never discussed this with Jon, and this is one of my huge faults in the relationship. Yes, more people read my blog when he linked and wrote about me.  However when teamed with Jon I actually sold less. In addition to that I was in a lawsuit and Jon was suspected of leaking information. So I did what Leonardo DiCaprio suggests in The Departed (one of Jon’s favorite movies) I leaked out information to him that I told no one else and within 48 hours it came out on the other end. In addition to all that I had encouraged Sinn to write stacks like theREDstack.  I gave him a few samples and a template of mine and he immediately started selling stacks.  Within a few weeks of the completion of his first Stack people started comparing them to the ones they had gotten from me and he basically just used the samples that I gave him, customizing very little.  He also charged more than me.  It was then that I made huge adjustments to theREDstack so it would not get polluted by him continuing to write based off of theREDstack.  And he wants to call me a theif… Other than that he started doing weird stuff, like never emailing of texting.  He kept everything out of writing, this led me to believe he was warned to not do this by my legal opponents because it might come up in court.

All this came to a close around May of 2008.

We had a few Lair talks scheduled and he flaked on a few so that was it. I would distance myself. My one major wrong here was I never confronted him on these issues. The whole time he thought it was because he cut me out of the Lay Report book he was putting out so it could get marketed to Love System’s list, apparently Love System demanded that my LRs had to be taken out of it to market the book.   This is also an asshole move, but that is how Jon is, you can expect that there is no sense of loyalty and always subtle backstabbing.  The things I listed before were the real reasons I stopped talking to him. In July of 2008 I really started to make some major changes in my life.  I started to completely cut people out of my life who were not good influences.  Some were women and others were PUA people.  One of those was Jon. Now at the time CJ was also laying low from hanging out with Jon and he had begun to burn bridges with pretty much all of the other core Dallas people.

I will keep from naming names here (even their PUA names) but the only person who would hang out with him, also was having trouble getting along with Jon, he could no longer bring his normal friends around Jon because Jon would always piss them off.  He could only meet with Jon alone, and could not go out with him to meet women either.

As time has told, CJ never built a feud with Jon, but he did need a break from him, about a years worth of one. Jon was let alone in Dallas.  Nobody would hangout with him. I gave my reasons above, but here are some of the other ones that I think many people who know Jon can agree with–

-Tantrums

If a set was going good for you and not for him he would wreck it.  I can’t tell you how many times this happened.  It happened on my first BC I worked with him in Vegas 3 years ago and I still got the girl, and it happened on the last Vegas BC I worked with him where I got the girl I had met that night to fly out to Austin to see me in just a few days.  The girl did not want to talk to him in Austin and we were teaching 1 student together…Jon blew up and started yelling at the girl and me and everyone else around.  There are countless stories of these.  If you have done a workshop with him you have seen it, I am sure.

-Too Mechanical

He would ‘game’ so mechanically and reactive.  It was like routine after routine, all of our Dallas crew was really opposite from that.  We all used massive amounts of Structure, but are very normal and Natural in how we execute it.  It was like gaming with a robot, which can have its benefits, but it was also like talking to a robot.

-Strip Clubs

In Dallas there are some guys who are really good at Stripper Game, I wanted to learn it.  We had to not go with Jon because to be honest he was horrible at it.  I really don’t think he should be teaching it.  He is worse than the guy who has the pasty skin and come-over in the strip club. He would try and play a value based game with them and Neg them, and as soon as it wouldn’t go his way (always) it would be as another Dallas PUA put it ‘Jon would release a grenade of negativity’ and the whole club would be fucked for the night. Within the first 3 months of me trying Stripper Game out I laid 8 Strippers.  In the 2 years Jon was in Dallas, I know of NO (that’s right Zero) Strippers he Laid.    I know of 1 Waitress who was definitely hot but later she ended up trying to sleep with all of us, CJ and myself.  Out of respect for Jon (which is one this I will say Jon is good with – he will not sleep with your girl) none of us slept with her.

-Volatility

Now we have all been guilty of some flaws in the Dallas Scene, but Jon was way too all over the place.   He would lose his shit and blow up at women we were dating or gaming, his friends and many of the specific reasons we never did form a business with him CJ and myself were because of his Volatility. Everything was a competition, everything had to be his way, everything had to be based on some bullshit structure of assumed alphaness.  No one else in Dallas had this trait.  It got old.  I am sure I am a close second to Jon in erratic behavior, however, mine did not repel the people around me.  I have friends, I have a ton.  I have people that would and have make huge sacrifices for me.  Jon has got a trail of ash and shit behind him.

-Steals Material and Brand it as his

You can see this with pretty much everything. Stripper Game he teaches Mystery’s stripper game, and it sucks. Day Game, he took from Mystery, although with this one he does have some innovations. Hired Guns he uses Mystery’s model Breakthrough Comfort is what Future did and Jon helped structure it, but Future developed it. SNLs are all CJ, in fact I would say Jon is very good at them, but the repeatable process that CJ developed Jon leave out a ton of info. theREDstack is me, and I am happy that theREDstack was too hard of a nut for Jon to crack.  He could never understand why it worked…probably because it is too normal. What did Jon create all on his own… What he is extremely gifted at is taking concepts from other people and making them very teachable.  This is very valuable.  But he is no innovator.

- Quantity not Quality

Of all the girls I have seen Jon pull (maybe 60) only 3 I would say I thought were hot.  Now don’t get me wrong, he is more than capable of getting really hot women, however it was always more about getting laid.  You don’t meet quality women that way.  I may not always want a relationship, but I need to go for the woman I want, and not just what is in front of me. Also he would rarely keep them around, and maybe he would be able to keep a girl for a few weeks.  To my knowledge he never had a real relationship with a girl.   Plus there never seemed to be any sexual satisfaction with him or the girl.  It was all about the lay.  Personally I feel that I would rather have the ability to please any girl than just fuck her for 2mins and never talk to her again.

-Constantly Lying about his Identity

When I took my Boot Camp with him, he was a Stand up Comedian.   He was never a stand up Comedian, Future was. Then he was Club Promoter – I don’t think Jon has any friends that run club, I don’t think he is capable of it. Then he was traveling around the country as a Photographer.  I am a Photographer – if he is where are the pics?   You can search Steve Mayeda online and find some of my Photos that I shot throughout the years.  I will even post my more current Photography (give me a few days) on my facebook page facebook.com/theMayeda for you to see them. I am sure he has also been an Actor, MMA Fighter, Producer, Writer and so on… Here is the reality of people who lie about their Identity –

They are Scared little boys wanting to be men.

At this point as one of the Dallas PUAs put it,

“the Great Sinn has no friends…”

He became alienated from all of us.  It must have sucked for him. So because nobody really wanted to go out with him or even be his friend he broke his lease and moved off… Instead of adventuring of to see the world he was forced out of a social scene…and you pay him to learn social dynamics. And the day he was gone we all went out again, and just hung out like normal dudes again.  DFW was fun again… We probably should have told him what we thought, or perhaps what I thought. I had thought for a long time Jon needed to go out and live life. He should drop out of the PUA scene actually get a girlfriend, fall in love, fail, have life beat you up a bit and grab a sense of reality.

When I was his age, I was the same way, but in terms of Art.  I didn’t have a bunch of people online worshiping me.  The reality and the illusion of Sinn was almost like polar opposites.  What I saw was a guy who was lonely, had no friends, didn’t know how to be a friend, and wasn’t even sexually confident.   It was like he had slept with all these women and didn’t even know how to please a woman or enjoy sex.   To me that seemed absurd.   But when I was his age and in his shoes I probably would have done the same thing.

The thing was and is, the PUA community keeps him out of the reality of his shortcomings.  In fact his shortcomings are not all that bad.  They are  things pretty much all of us can relate with. However my further alienation from Jon built tension. I was advised not to talk to him at all by my attorneys and this I feel further pissed him off.  We had loose ends, personally and in business that would have to wait until after my legal matter was resolved.

Jon started talking shit publically, and so in March of 2009 I went to discuss these things with him at Mehow’s Superconference.   What is interesting here is that both of us were mic’d up.  He was about to speak and I had an interview to do.   The person doing the recording for my interview had been recoding me for hours on accident.  I have always been tempted to put this conversation online to clear the air a bit, but that would not really serve the purpose in the matter.  I basically tell Jon my part in matters and ask him how I can make them right.  He blows up telling me that I spread rumors about him, steal from him and my students, am the most manipulative person in the world, and so on.

I politely listened and kept asking how can I make this right.   I asked him to make clear some of the accusations he was making, but did not argue.

Everyone who has heard the Audio says he described himself in the whole thing when blowing up at me.

He continued to talk more and more shit.  I would never give a public opinion on Jon. At the time he was mid way through his 12 Months to Mastery Program and at that time people started dropping out and hiring me. I am not sure how many people he had signed up for the program but 8 hired me and gave me unfavorable feedback towards the program. I expected this, mainly because I know Jon is one of the Best Instructors out there, but at the things he was claiming to help them with he was not a good teacher for that.   Not that he was a bad guy, but more because things that had to do with real life, customizing, or lasting changes were not his strong points. There were 3 guys that continued the program to the end that also worked with me.

1 of Jon’s 12 Months to Mastery students told me that his game actually got worse from staying in the program.

If any of you know me, I record all my phone consults to email to the student afterwards.  Everyone knows they are being recorded.  I have a library now of poor reviews on audio for his 12 months to mastery course.

One of the other students from the program also told me that Jon posted an exaggerated story about him in his second edition of the Game Acceleration Doctrine.  Rule #1 – Never post a false review

I tell you all of this and still say Jon Sinn is one of the Best PUA instructors of all time, but he is not good at everything.

I also tell you this cause in his ‘Charlatans ‘ post he wrote 3 Categories that he would rate these imposters on.

Here are the 3 Categories as taken from his blog -

“The 3 categories: Category 1: Crappy dating advice. It won’t help you with chicks and may even have you worse off than before you started. Category 2: Socially creepy person. A guy/girl who comes across as a creep in society but wants to give you social advice. Category 3: Can’t do it himself, a book reporter. Person who blatantly rips off other people’s works, writes a book report to repackage and still can’t start a conversation with a woman.”

Jon Sinn fits all these categories pretty well.   However I would not call Jon a Charlatan.  He is a legit teacher, but the guy needs to grow up.

In fact when I survey my customers, people always tell me how helpful his blog and content it.  Everyone says it is one of the Best out there…and I would agree.   He gives great advice but lives a Shitty Life. Perhaps the point of this is not to just clear the air, but also help Jon get some clarity (cause I know he will read this) but also to show that all the shit talking is pretty much the most pussy ass thing you can do. From what I know about Jon is he won’t say shit to my face, but online or on a call with Barry Kirkey he will open his mouth.  That is what a coward does.   The community needs to stop that. In fact I agree with a lot of the people he listed as ‘Charlatans’, but I believe the answer is to not play into this bullshit –  shit talking pseudo alpha crap –  but rather learn from it and produce quality.

Have that quality redefine the negative aspects of the things in your life.

I am sure this will stir some bullshit gossip, but to be honest, who gives a shit about that? Look at this story and realize that there is more to life than being a ‘Pick Up Guy’. Jon isn’t the only one who has turned his life into a rats nest of bullshit.  In fact there are very few people out there who teach that I would ever look up to.

And as always GET ON MY LIST!

$100 in gasoline

$60 Food

And we didn’t need to spend so much on food, but we splurged…

Today is Christmas morning.

We are driving out of the valley that once held one of the most impressive societies that humanity has seen.  Perhaps it still does.

Teotihuacán – or Mexico City

‘One thing that has always propelled me in terms of Pick Up has always been the Human Connection.’

We rarely focus on that ‘human connection’ when it comes to ‘game’ however that is the main goal…right?

At some point we all sat there alone in front of a computer feeling the solitude of the walls around us.   Then we stumbled on somewhat of an answer and found the Pick Up Community.

However in this community we miss the point.

Instead of being lead by human connection we fuel our fires by searching for attention.

It is like anything our egos want to chase – the idea of getting attention from people who never gave a shit about us (hot chicks) makes us feel we will achieve fulfillment.

Mastery over getting those women that one day alluded us will get us to a level of contentment that we have always wanted.

One thing that I have realized in my ride through the PUA community is that I have actually lived this where as other people who teach this sort of ‘superlative’ lifestyle have not.

Somehow we have been convinced into this belief that a checklist of qualities will somehow achieve that goal.  That void, that ever crushing voice that never shuts up will be satisfied fully if only we could be that guy…you know the one…

If only I could-

Party with rich people

Party with famous people

Fuck Playboy Models

Travel

Be an International Playboy

…live the life ‘TV’ tells me is life.

(for a community that has such a ‘Fight Club’ theme isn’t it funny how it is exactly what ‘Fight Club’ speaking out against defines it)

Those things I have been a part of and I can tell you they are not the answer.

Why?

Because they chase the attention, they chase the ego.

If you want that, then by all means chase it, but don’t fool yourself in thinking that is the answer, because I can guarantee you if you actually succeed at even half of that you will see that none of that means shit.

The fears, solitude, loneliness doesn’t do anything but get bigger.

I suppose the reason why I am writing all of this is cause what spawns my interests in life have more to do with life and the simplicity of humanity than anything.

I think about this because of the time I have spent in Mexico City, where there is a great group of people.

It is a massive city, a humbling city….sure there is danger here, but have some common sense and you’ll live.

It makes me think of the things that have always driven me, even before my time in Pick Up.

When in Mexico you can see the division of class, it is polarized and prevalent.  The middle class is gone.  The rich are so separate form the poor, it is so obvious that you feel guilty just passing through.

This is also something that has been happening to the US, however no one wants to see it.

I always hear people argue about politics and different solutions to the problems that society brings; however, things like politics are too crazy, absurd, complex, fallible…and so on, for me to even entertain an answer.

The only thing that I can worry about is what is in front of me and what I am dong right now.   You can always try and change the world, but if you can’t change the world that is right in front of you then you’re not going to get very far.

In meeting people, you need to do what is right in front of you.  You need to be able to face the world in that is in front of you.

When you’re faced with someone you like then you need to make a move, that move should be defined by you, not what the image of the Internet PUA says.

The Things I stress in terms of meeting women is –

-Know what you want

-Show it in the right ways

-Don’t let it control your life

In the US we are facing a lot of realities pulling the carpet out from under us…poor economy, heavy debt, lack of connection with people, lack of culture and so on.

The news is packed with reaffirming these things.

However let’s look at this from a different angle.  Who knows if things will get better or worse, and frankly that is not really my business or point.

No matter what happens to us as people the real things in life will always stay there.
What I mean by that, is hard times can take away everything from you.  War can bring pain and suffering, and huge loses, but never can it take away from the beauty of being human.

Humanity is something that we are far away from.  To me humanity is –

-Connecting

-Quality

-Emotion

-Passion

It is not a list of things that make us ‘cool’, it is never the identity we think we have or the identity that is assumed.  It is what is in us when we have nothing and when we have everything.

By all means I am not always happy…but life is to be lived.

I understand why it is a good to learn a routine to go and talk to women, but why are we measuring our success with this ‘Art’ by the calculated responses…why are we not trying to see if we can connect with someone rather than get a reaction?

If you do this you will turn sex into a reaction.

For instance, you take Qualification and has it been taught as a tool to generate ‘Attraction’ and ‘Value’…as if we can get someone to comply they will be in our tractor beam?

Why are we not using it to-

-Dominantly express ourselves

-See if they are Qualified to talk to us

-Challenge people on what WE are interested in

When I talk to women I want to know about their sexuality or what they are attracted to, so that is what I ask.  Now I use the principles of Social Dynamics and Seduction to make this work but it is so easy…

I will give you a template –

-       Qualify on a topic you want to talk about –

-       Ground or Show what it means to you

-       Continue to Qualify

-       Frame based off of that

So here is an example

Q- I want to ask you, what is it that makes you know you like someone?

(they don’t have to answer, just continue talking)

G- This used to really confuse me, I thought I was attracted to people but then I realized how I was just attracted to the attention.  You being an attractive girl probably know exactly what I mean.

Q-So what is it that you really find attractive about someone.

F- You know what I can totally tell that you are someone who has a lot to offer but you always attract the wrong guy.

What is happening here is you are running Qualification in a Pattern.  I have been teaching this stuff for the past 6 months or so and it works great.

Let’s not miss the point here…

There is a lot that we can be bitching about right now with the world, or maybe your life.  That being said let’s take it as an opportunity to bring back the things that have meaning in our life.

Redefine Quality in Self,

Make sure you life your life true to yourself,

and have Fun with the simple things.

Remember the most influential things in your life have less to do with money and more to do with passion, honesty and purpose.

Alright…my turn to drive…

Next Stop – Chiapas – Palenque

See the pics of our adventure on www.facebook.com/theMayeda

He did some work with me, now we are having fun.    This will be my life for the next 8 days.

To follow this adventure and the many others go to www.facebook.com/theMayeda be my friend and you can take a look at some of the Pics, I will update as soon as I can.

Travel Expenses for the 2 of us the first 24 Hours

$80 gasoline

$35 Food

$30 Hotel

How this ties into being better with women let me give you a botched Quote – ( it is from my buddy Kevin B., but he got it from someone else…)

“It is easiest to be spiritual in the Temple

Harder on the Street

And Hardest at Home.”

In terms of women, you might want to get started with all those Crazy Pick Up Routines, do what the Gurus say, but when it comes down to it if you can’t live life and be good with women then you’re just some fraud in a bunch of dumb clothes.

When PUAs talk about going to Vegas or some ‘Pick Up’ city that is nothing to brag about.   You have gotta be able to do the things you like to do and when women come your way you can be yourself and attract them.

Sadly no one really does this and yet people pay money for learning the technique of how to not be yourself and be somewhat successful at attracting women.  And if that were true where’s the proof?

I make my life primarily built off of travel.  I do this without spending much money, in fact if I were to stay in the US I would spend more money just living than what I will spend on this trip.

So maybe you can read this and get something about travel and lifestyle.

Before I was known or even had any concept of the Pick Up Community, I had traveled around the US and Mexico on almost no money.  I should write a book about that…  It is really easy to do, and although I might be critical sound critical about the US in this post, I have traveled, interviewed and talked to people in almost every state.  I love the US and if you haven’t traveled in it I would recommend doing so.  The country is pretty amazing and diverse.

People are good wherever you go!

————

So now on to the title of this post…

As fucked up as all of that might sound it really ain’t all that.

First off leaving Austin was a pain in the ass.  For some reason that is always the case.

Rule Number 1 for Travel – Don’t worry about shit.

Yes ‘be prepared’ but you gotta just hit the road sometimes.

When you set yourself up in that way, you are automatically fucking yourself.

You need to realize that you’re gonna forget stuff and not everything is gonna fall into place.

You have just gotta hit the road and get started.

Once I am well on my way the reality of the world I have created at home fades off into the distance and I am alone with myself.

This time I have a guide.

So once we finally left Austin there were a few stops that had to be made as well as some loose ends, but soon the road opened up.

It has been 5 years since I have been to Mexico and from what everybody had said I wasn’t sure what to expect.

People keep telling me how bad it is and how murders are out of control, crime, cartels and generally unsafe.

5 Years ago I spent the whole summer in Mexico.  I drove all over…the 3 rules that I read about in the travel books were to

1-Never Drive at night

2-Never Sleep in your car

3-Never give a stranger a ride.

I did all 3 of those things.  I did the first 2 of those almost nightly.

I did travel with my dog though…but she didn’t really scare anybody.

The problems people run into with travel have more to do with attitude and common sense than the majority of assumptions.

For instance, people have all these rules for travel, and it takes the fun out of all of it.  When I went to Europe, I had only traveled around the USA and Mexico.  I thought I would meet these expert backpackers.

What I met were a very small handful of backpackers and a whole bunch of spoiled kids taking a soul-searching vacation who wore fancy backpacks.

Once we crossed the border I realized how Awesome Mexico is.  We crossed the border at 2am.  I was driving.  As soon as I entered I started to have that immediate uncertainty with the roads of another country.  However that last foreign country I drove in a month ago used the other side of the road.  That fucks everything up.

I hit customs hit, remembered what a pain in the ass it is like passing through them when you barely speak Spanish (5 Years ago I was better at it) and I started to remember how powerless you feel when guy with machine guns and nobody around are looking through your things.

I will also say that I have never had a problem at any of the check points with a military person or a Federale steal my belongings.

It took us a few hours to get to Monterrey and even at 4am it was an awesome city.

From what I remember Monterrey is the 3erd largest city in Mexico.  It is very developed and it is so tame in comparison to some of the Caribbean cities I have been hanging out in.

Plus despite the flawed American outlook on other cultures (that include cultures within the States as well) Mexican are some of the friendliest people.  If you were to compare Mexicans with Americans you could say Mexicans are extremely friendly and helpful.  If you have traveled in the Southern United States this same vibe exists.   Mexicans also know their culture than most Americans and there is more of a sense of self.  They know who they are, rather than searching for an identity.   American culture is ruled by media and superficial stimuli more than most places I have been, and it shows.

If you were to compare Mexico with Trinidad and Tobago where I am a week every month, Mexico is completely passive.  Trinidad (although beautiful in its own ways) is pretty abrasive and rough.   Trinidad and Mexico both have a sense of Lawlessness about them, but Trinidad has way more of a party vibe to it.   People in Trinidad are much more wild and crazy than Mexicans.    I mean that is the best way…

So when we got to Monterrey, Horacio (my guide and travel partner) had to take me to this local Strip Club.  This was interesting.  In fact it was one of my favorite places I have been to in a while (How sleazy is that).

What I thought was so amazing was we got there right as it was closing…and there were a bunch of men staring at a large stage with women all showing their stuff off (still had their clothes on) to the men.

I didn’t get it…

Then I soon realized that the men called the women over, and got a dance from them.

Then I realized that you could not only have a dance but have sex with them.

How interesting…

Although I was pretty quick at figuring all this out, the lights came on and they kicked us all out before I could really get a grasp as to how this place worked.

After we left Horacio then told me that it wasn’t really much of a strip club, but he thought I should see a bit of the cities underbelly.

Then we went down the street and ate some of the best Tacos one could ever imagine.

Carne con Queso.

One thing that you will immediately realize once you eat cheese outside of the US is that US cheese has way less flavor to it.  This is because it generally has less fat in it.  Funny cause Americans – including myself- are much fatter than people who eat real cheese.

But what I love most about Mexico is that you can get street food that tastes better than food you can get in a restaurant in the US.  This is also another similarity with Trinidad Tobago – Doubles and Geera Horse are some of the best things I have eaten, and both are Trinidadian foods.

I suppose to wrap this all up, I was pretty torn on coming back to Mexico.

But Mexico is great.  Monterrey at 5am still had more life and culture than most American cities that I have submerged myself in for the past few years.

I miss that Adventure of Mexico.  We have a pretty fast schedule for my stay this time.

Tomorrow we go to Mexico City (Which I have never been to) and then to Chiapas to hang with the Zapatistas…That is 1500 miles in 2 or 3 days.

I think all the fear that comes from what might be happening in Mexico is American BS.  Yes if you are part of the Cartel wars or part of the Government then you might be having some trouble, but there is so little crime I have seen so far (just one short day), but 5am on the streets of Downtown LA are much worse than Monterrey.

In fact if you could say Trinidad is much worse, it is number 7 of the counties with the most murders per capita.  But just like in Mexico if you stay out of trouble you’re fine.

People are people and they are generally good people.

I suppose to make a Pick Up correlation,

If you spend all your time learning routines and methods, you stop living life.

Life is experience.  You need to see the world and embrace it.  If you want to meet women, it is great to have a step by step plan to guide you, but if you live by it you will kill your soul.

Get out there, live life.  Don’t let some social pressure exercise define you…life challenges you naturally if you live it.  If you want to meet women, then get something consistent so that you can talk to them, but at some point you have got to have that attraction come from yourself rather than an online manual.

Rule Number 2 for Travel – Travel Light!

#1 – Anthony Johnson -

This guy you may know from The21Convention, but I have gotten 3 calls from guys in the past 2 weeks telling me about how his workout program has made guys lose weight and get in shape.  First thing I gotta say is that I do a different workout program, and the 3 guys that have talked to me have lost way more weight and are in better shape than me.

Anthony is a great guy though.  He is one of the few people that I talk to when I want to know my head is on straight.  I got a lot of respect for him.  I may not agree with him on specific topics, however he is a guy that I look up to.  There are very few of those.

Also you should really sign up for the21convention next year cause it is literally the best convention.  I am Speaking at Both the Orlando Convention and the Euro Convention.

If you want to know more about him you can check out his Blogs – (also contact him via the Blogs he actually answers his emails – Fitness and PUA Questions)

http://www.thedreamlounge.net/

http://beachmuscles.org/

http://www.the21convention.com/

I have so much Video I have shot in the past few months it is too much to edit.  When I was in Orlando I gave Anthony a lot of it.  These 2 vids are of me, Jason Savage, and DJ Fuji.  If you don’t read their blogs you’re selling yourself Short!

Good LMR Video – You get me talking about what I always talk about, you get Jason Savage (who is one of the few people I respect in terms of Breaking Down Seduction) and you got DJ Fuji (the BEST Technical teacher out there)

Although you see DJ Fuji, Savage and Myself in these Vids, Anthony and the Dream Team made this all happen.  He edited them, we were all there in Orlando for his convention and He put them on YouTube.  So when you’re Subscribing to my YouTube Channel (http://www.youtube.com/theredmolecom) Subscribe to his, especially cause he has WAY more Vids http://www.youtube.com/user/Under21convention07

Video 1 – LMR

Video 2 – High Energy – Low Energy

Video 3 – Relationships Vs Lays

————–

#2 Henry Champaign (Marketing and PHP Genius)

So I have had this new Blog for less than a Year and I am grateful to have it. But a ton of guys had told me it was hard to navigate and a whole bunch of stuff didn’t work. My buddy Kevin Designed it cause he is a nice guy and then tried to get a bunch of PHP guys to build it.
They got it up and running, but the archives didn’t work and it was a pain in the ass to leave a comment.
Henry and I have hung out in Austin for a bit. He is a part of a group that has some of the most infamous Marketers in the World.
Marketers are for the most part Snakes and Frauds, much like PUA Instructors, however this Austin Group is the real deal…one day I will actually learn from them.
Henry is one of those guys and he told me that he knew PHP really well and would just fix my site for the few kind gestures I gave him.

I have also gotten a ton of free Marketing Advice and Business Advice from guys in this group. It is insane…I mean it is slow times and a lot of guys are hurting for money…I ain’t excluded from that.
From what I see with these Austin Dudes is that they are able to Live the Lives they want to Live, be good people and still make Money.

You don’t see that too often these days.

Unfortunately there is no real contact info that I link to for Mr. Champaign but come to Austin and we will all hangout.
And Henry is still working on getting the comments to work, but maybe he can teach me how to do it.

————–

#3 – Milo and Jen

You may not know these people, but they help a TON with the innards of theREDmole.com.

They have been living off of grass for the past month, while helping me out.
All I have to say is this…

I have had a lot of people in my life that have turned their backs on me, that is life.
In fact I could tell you that this started from a very young age, being born into some of these situations.

However a Victim lives life manifesting situations to constantly blame others.
Right now in my life I have some of the best people.
I have the most loyal people that the world can ask for.

Both Milo and Jen have gone beyond their duty and stayed in it with me.

————–

I will say this,

there are a bunch of people that could be on this list and I have not written about, mainly cause I doubt you will read the post if it is too long.

Here is the reality -

I have been in the PUA Community for a long time. I have made some of the best friends and also made some not so good ones.

However, the life I have now I do not measure by success, status or any of that shit.

I measure it by how good the people are around me.

People say that all you need are 1 or 2 good friends, I literally have 15 of those.

I am never alone.

I have everything I could ever ask for in many ways.

In the past few years I have seen ‘joke’ after ‘joke’ give advice to guys looking for answers in how they can get better with women. I see them say it is all about how cool you are or how status can get you what you want.

I have seen all those ‘jokes’ turn into something that is no longer funny. They are pathetic. It is sad.

It is sad when all you have got is your identity, and that identity is fake.

If you’re one of those people and you’re reading this, change it.

Like Radiohead has always said – “Meeting People is Easy”

It is free, all you have to do is be yourself.

When I am put in these positions I end up being pissed off at things for no reason.

Fortunately one of the things that I feel is very important is that I have a lot of good friends around me.

Here are some of the Quotes I really liked from the last few days, and explanations as to why I like them-

——

“When you are truly honest with yourself then things like virtue, identity and the cocktail waitresses don’t mean shit.”

This Quote came from my buddy Kevin.  He is a writer, and makes movies…one of them is called Hitch.  Our relationship is way outside of the PUA Community, and for the most part I keep my mouth shut about people claiming that Hitch was based on them.   However, Kevin is somewhat of a “Spiritual Adviser” for me.  I call him for advice, a lot.

On Sun I had a particularly challenging day.  Lots of crazy personal stuff.  I called Kevin and my buddy Sean and literally talked to them for over 5 hours.   Kevin said a whole bunch of crazy shit…really insightful and all that fun stuff.

However, what really stuck out was this…

“When you are truly honest with yourself then things like virtue, identity and the cocktail waitresses don’t mean shit.”

What this means is that when you can be true to who you are, when you can be honest with yourself then you can see who the real you is and not some Identity that we are trying to be.   This happens most at times of desperation, when we are stripped down and humbled.   The goal is to have that sense of honesty come out when we are not desperate.

How this relates to getting women – if you are too much ‘not yourself’ when meeting women, what are you going to end up with.  Not only do you start off on the wrong foot, but you grow yourself via a facade rather than who you are.  Get someone to like someone for who you are, and then all you have to be is yourself…that can be hard.

——

“Change is not a matter of discipline, if you want to change all you need is a map that you can trust.”

This one comes from my buddy Chris who is one of the top Golf Instructors in the World.  We were talking about Diet and nutrition stuff.  Chris lost a ton of weight by doing this diet.  Chris was not fat, but he always is trying new things to improve himself.  If you ever hangout with him you will realize how ‘exuberant’ or a guy he is.  He has a lot of drive.   He was telling me how Golf, Dieting or anything in life is easy if you have the right map.

He told me that once he had made a choice to change all he needed was the right outline so that he could get the results he wanted.  Once that happened it wasn’t a matter of will or discipline, it was a matter of taking simple actions.   A good teacher has a good road map for his students.  In many ways Chris and I are similar, but I learn a lot from him in how he teaches.

——

“If your car is not working you gotta take the parts and then put em back in”

This sounds like some ‘Redneck Zen’ as they call it…but it actually comes from my friend Nate.  He is a pretty interesting guy and there is nothing ‘Redneck’ or ‘Zen’ about him.  He is a guy that is probably one of the smartest and most intellectual people I know.  We were talking about Personal Change, and doing a Personal Inventory.   Nate was saying that if stuff is not going on right in your life rather than looking at everything around you look inside.  Take all those things out, look at them and clean them off…all that baggage, all that resentment, guilt, shame, fear…and so on.  You see, your inner self is not corrupt.  At least i don’t believe that.

But we all get corrupted.  So you gotta clean that stuff of.  You have got to be the person you were meant to be rather than a manifestation of these other things, like guilt, shame and fear.

——

“Why do you gotta put on your helmet and motorcycle jacket to go to the grocery store?”

Now this is by my buddy Sean who has a lot of quotes that I like.  He definitely has that ‘Redneck Zen’ vibe but but his neck is brown…hahahahaha!  Sean is extremely wise, and has a lot to look up to as well.

He always says stuff like – “If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’re gonna keep getting what you’re getting”, however if Sean really wants to step it up he needs to start making Farm analogies..throw a pig or a barn in there and we are golden.

How this all came up was really awesome.  We were talking about Pick Up and how people do stupid things because they think they work.  The specific instance we were talking about is how the other night I was talking to my Waitress Friend and we are quite close and just to ‘Social Proof’ himself a PUA came up and said goodbye to us.  There is nothing wrong with communicating with people, but this guys was doing it just to look cool…and nobody really cared.  The PUA industry misses this point time and time again.

We dress up, learn lines and so on to impress people and then we forget to cultivate a life we want.  We look up to frauds for help.  It is pretty sad.

We end up dressing up to fit some image so people like us, when all we need to do is be ourselves more than anything.

——

“If your life has purpose your identity is defined.  But if you don’t have any purpose your identity defines you”

This actually comes from me talking to my buddy Nate again.  It kind of fits the them of everything else i have been talking about.   If you have purpose in your life then you don’t need your identity to define you.  It is like what Kevin was saying…you gotta be true to yourself and others.

People try and create an Identity and they completely forget about who they are and what they want.  You need to be someone who can be less driven by Identity and more driven by Purpose.  Now sometimes you gotta ‘fake it till you make it’ but if you lose sight of your purpose your identity is not you…it is what other people think of you.

———————

Mon night I was supposed to mail out this PDF on the Mastermind Program.   It is going out right now!!!!

Sorry, but most of these Quotes were said on Sun and Mon of this last week.  In fact 4 of them were said within the short story below explaining why I didn’t mail out the PDF -

On Monday

I would have done so, but I ended up trying to meet up with 2 guys that were interested in the Mastermind Program.

One lives in DFW (where I live) and the other was visiting from Chicago.

Already at this point I was wearing pretty thin.  There were many things that had been weighing down on me from the weekend.

I was writing at a Cafe and my buddy showed up who lives in DFW and was interested in the Mastermind Program.  The plan was to meet the guy from Chicago at a strip club later.

Within all of this one of my bartender buddies asked me to come by to drop him off some food.  As we were driving my buddy got a Flat tire.

We pulled over and couldn’t make it off the freeways but we made it over on the side of the road.

It was kind of a bad situation cause we didn’t have a spare that fit…long story.

Anyway, we spent a long time talking about stuff.

It may sound weird but, I get more out of those times than ‘Sarging’.

Probably cause I hear Quotes like the ones above!

As we all know if you’re on my email list that is the best way…

The Mastermind Test Group is still being put together and if you want to know more about it the Outline for the entire 12 Week Program is being sent out to my email list tonight!  So GET ON THE LIST!

So I want to shed a little light on some things here.

When you first started looking at these things online your motives were not to do 90%-100% of the suggestions that are made –

-Creating a false Identity

-Social Pressure Exercises

-Turning Humanity into Mechanics

and so on.

What is important is whatever our goal was (or is) we have been willing to do those things in order to achieve it.

One of those things is that - “you need to approach 1,000- 10,000 sets”.

So the other night I was hanging out at my friend’s Club in Austin while AFC Adam was doing his Free Workshop

(Props to him for doing that, and he will be doing more.  In fact the Austin Lair has myself doing Free Lessons at its talks once a month and Adam doing his stuff as well as Zan and some other really good lesser known Austin guys….good place to be)

It was the night of the UFC Fight where Mir and Penn Dominated.

I have interviewed Penn and Photographed him as well as taught a few people in his camp so I am always excited to see him win.   So needless to say I was pretty pumped.  Aside from that one of my close close girlfriends had just gotten back that night too and I was meeting her there.

In any case, after the fight I saw the 20 guys at the free workshop working the sets so I started working with a few of them.  I soon realized that for a lot of these guys this was their first time approaching sets.

It was tough cause I only work with a few guys at a time so it has been a while since I had a constant influx of guys doing the same things over and over again.

I then thought of something that might shed a little bit of light to someone  who is new at this stuff.

You could design your whole game, if you are starting from Square 1 to get to a pretty good and consistent level within 100 Sets.   Probably a more consistent level than most guy’s whole Systems could do for you.

How I have broken this down is in Groups of 10 or 20.

1- 10 – Approach, Compliance and Body Language

11-30 – Body Language and Qualification

31-40 – Moving and Isolating

41-60 – Qualification and Grounding

61-80 – Mixing Attraction and Emotion (Deeper Grounding)

80-100 – Qualifying for what you want and Number Closing

In this Post I will talk about the First 10 Sets.

In your first 10 Sets you want to Accomplish –

-Approaching a Girl

(pick one type of venue, Day, Restaurant, Club, Strip Club and so on)

-Compliance based on reactions.

This is Playfulness, Teasing and so on.

-Body Positioning

How to put yourself in a good position in the group or with the girl.

That is it.  In those first 10 sets I want you to try and do all of those things.

Down below I will give you some Specific Examples of how to do this.

However I want to Emphasize that you once you work towards these 3 things in those first 10 sets I want you to try and think about how you tried to accomplish these things in those first 10 Sets.

Don’t just try and blow through them,  really try and think about how you could have improved and how you might have missed something.  Think about how you can do it better next time too.

So if you were to try these 3 things on 10 people here is what your goals would be –

Approach –

Confidently start a conversation with anyone based on the Openers below.

Compliance –

Stimulate at least 2 reactions with them using your what you say.

Body Positioning –

Getting Close and feeling comfortable with it.

So Let’s breakdown these 3 tasks –

Approach the girl –

So to Approach you need an Opener.

One of the main rules for Opening is that you should base it on a topic that you like, it will make the conversations in the future work a lot better.

So that is 1^st Variable.

The other major Variable is based on where you are.  If you are at a club there needs to be something with more reactivity in it, if it is a Waitress then you just need to sit down and wait….

So that is the 2^nd Variable

For your Topic you can choose from these examples about myself.

I like Art, Teaching people, Sexuality

So I can open with any of those things with this template –

Hey can I ask you a question about woman?

Wait, I don’t know about you…alright let me ask you this.  I have always been into different types of Art, are you someone that is really open-minded?

Now you can use that same set up and just change a few things around there.

So for Sexuality it would be this…

Hey can I ask you a question about woman?

Wait, I don’t know about you…alright let me ask you this.  I have always been into how different people feel, especially things like human sexuality… are you someone that is really open-minded?

(Anyone who tells you that you can’t be sexual or touch in the daytime should not be teaching day game.)

In any case, this is just the opener.

There has to be follow up, but for these first 10 sets just work with this.   There are some changes you can shift around for different situations, and by all means you can do whatever you want if you already know how to initiate a conversation.

Compliance based on Reactions –

This is pretty vital, and this is where guys may already know how to open, but they don’t do this.  If you get good at this you can lead the conversation in all sorts of crazy directions.   For now lets take things a little easier and just focus on some reactivity.

Compliance is vital in anything that is Human or Social.  You want to lead people.  You want to be able to get people to move in the right direction.   That is how you Lead in the first mins and seconds of an interaction.

Later as we continue in more of the sets you can get compliance in a few other ways.

But now it is reactionary.

Also you have to realize, ‘game’ or ‘attraction game’ is not doing a bunch of high stimuli playful stuff, it is just trying to gain Compliance.

In the example above there are a few things that are Stimulating a Reaction immediately.

So let me point a few out and then expand on them too

Hey can I ask you a question about woman?

Wait, I don’t know about you…alright let me ask you this.  I have always been into different types of Art, are you someone that is really open-minded?

The “Wait, I don’t know about you…” should get some stimuli and have them either react or pay more attention.

“are you someone that is really open-minded?” also should get a reaction.

Now to expand on this you need to do a few other things that will help get a reaction.

So let’s say you did all of what has already been written you want to start generating this sort of reactivity towards something more deep within the person than something superficial.

The way I say to prepare for all of this is to walk into a situation with 3 Teases ready to fire.

Here are a few Examples –

“I can’t talk to you, you’re too judgmental”

(You want someone to be non-judgmental so this will help them react back in this way)

“I think you’re one of those girls that is really interpretive, but you always end up getting stepped on”

(This is meant and said playfully.  Being Interpretive is something that is a core part of someone, and getting used or stepped on it too.  Right now the person will not show that part of themselves but you will be moving in that direction.)

“You know with your smile, I bet that people really get the wrong impression about you”

(How people perceive one another is a great way to begin transitioning into something a bit deeper.)

The same as with the Opener, you also need to base these things off of things you like.   I like open-minded people so that is one of my Teases.

Body Positioning –

Let me just say this…

If I were to focus on a new student that had never had any knowledge in the dark arts of game then I would say that this is all I would teach him.

In fact I would give him a few placebo lines and then emphasize where he stands or sits.

While chiming in on AFC Adam’s Free BC I realized that all I needed the guys to do was pay attention to the Angles that they would stand at and get Closer.

So if you are sitting down, or standing you need to Get Closer and Stand at the Proper Angles.

To learn more about this watch my Body Language Videos 1-3  and get be creative.

Video 1 -Article

Video 2 -Article

Video 3 -Article

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Now remember this is only the first 10 interactions.

Do this…you can do it in a day, or you can take more time with it and do it in a week.

In any case, you should really study it and take some time with it.

I will be letting a few more of these posts out there.

GET ON THE LIST cause good stuff is going out tonight.